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Your FEEDBACK - on social change, sacrifice and what do WE do?

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From: AKidsRight Webmaster (webmaster@AKidsRight.Org)
Date: Sun May 18 2003 - 12:44:25 EDT

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Good People & People of Faith:

This message contains info on:
1. Visiting Legislators for Mother's Day - no interest?
2. Your FEEDBACK - Easter Sacrifice & My child doesn't love me right now.
3. Your FEEDBACK - What are YOU going to do?

1. Visiting Legislators for Mother's Day - no interest?
Plans for visiting Federal legislator's were cancelled for lack of

2. Your FEEDBACK - Easter Sacrifice & My child doesn't love me right now.
Quite a bit of your thoughts came back on this recent messages,
There are some stories below we can all relate to!

--- From: Barbara Lyn Lapp <>

> Many thoughtful comments, ... Especially liked your notice of the
> "educated middle class" in Iraq. I cannot comprehend the metallity
> of war.  Sacrifice of a soldier's life is glorified, yet no group of
> citizens -- here or in Iraq -- will band together for non-bloody
> sacrifice that would well accomplish the same thing.

--- From: Walter Weidenbacher <>

> I am just another person who somehow got his name on a mailing list,
> and I want to remind you of what you already know, which is that
> you're not alone in your plight, specifically the one with family
> court.  Your "broadcasting" your situation has helped me, too, feel
> not alone.  I'm up to here with my own defeats at the moment, and
> somehow I will want to find a way to not suffer in silence.  Your
> thoughtful essay is consoling and reassuring.

> I hate to say it as much as any man would, but there are so many of
> us (and children), it seems, who have become victims..., VICTIMS!

> Good luck.  I admire you for going to jail, and often think about it
> when I'm contemplating what I should do next -- like refusing to pay
> my "part" of the behavior modification school rip-off my
> sixteen-year-old son is just finishing his first year at -- totally
> for no reason except that his Mom had had it with him and couldn't
> bring herself to let him live with me.

> Isn't life full of surprises, especially the plate sometimes put
> before us?

--- From: Tim <>:

> I just read some of your (horror) story..i too have had my 13 yr old
> son moved 1500 away.....from chicago to albuquerque......have had a
> hard time staying in touch with him.....and almost every time I send
> a plane ticket for him I get an email saying he cant
> she's telling me he can't spend the 'court ordered' two months for
> summer here....only ten days and maybe a week in late july....below
> is that email.....  JimK is the guy she met in a chat room and moved
> out there with.  Got any ideas?

>> Subj:   Derek's summer
>> Date:   4/19/2003 6:20:55 AM Central Daylight Time
>> From:   <A HREF="mailto:JimK">JimK</A>
>> To: <A HREF="mailto:Timhague">Timhague</A>

>> Derek has decided that he wants to give football a try in high
>> school.  We went to the orientation session the other night and if
>> he wants to play he has to be at a session on June 5th in the
>> evening and then weightlifting/conditioning/practices three nights a
>> week after that.  He finishes school on 5/23, so he could travel to
>> Chicago that after school that day and needs to be back in
>> Albuquerque on June 5th before 4pm.

>> The coaches recognize that kids are going to have to spend time on
>> vacation with their parents before school starts, so he will be
>> available to travel to Chicago for another week (probably in late
>> July), but won't know which week will be best until he gets into the
>> practices and feels out the coaches on which weeks they'd rather see
>> the kids gone.

>> If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask them.

      Wow, very sorry to hear about your situation.  What a message,
it all sounds so rational, why would you want to interfere with that?
And hearing it all from the other guy......

--- From: John A Graboski <>

> Your writing below is right on the mark.  I was married in 1966 and
> we had two children, John and Maria.  All went well, until Dolores
> decided on a whim, to divorce me in 1977.

> And then my Hell began.  I lost our children and property and my job
> (divorce is still not an acceptable social status in Latin America).

> Against court orders, Dolores spirited them out of the country to
> Nicaragua.  Some years later, she got my children to perjure
> themselves and say that I had molested them, which means that
> Dolores committed subornation of perjury.

> I didn't see them for more than a decade.  Maria was the first to
> contact me in San Jose.  Against her mother's protestations, she
> stayed at my home to complete her degree at San Jose State
> University.  The best part was that she finally admitted to me that
> everything that her mother told my children were lies.

> John was not so lucky.  At age 17 years, he was nearly shot to death
> by three police 9 mm. bullets during the commission of a crime.
> Just how does a short mother control her 6'4" son at 15 years of age
> ?

> Nonetheless, Maria persuaded John (when he returned from the 1991
> Desert Storm War), to bring his wife and himself to live in my home,
> until he completed a post-secondary education of his own choosing.

> Two (2) days after he moved into my home, he announced that he was
> going to visit his mother.  I PLEADED and BEGGED him NOT to tell his
> mother where he was living.

> He did.  His mother's face flushed in crimson red, and then said,
> THE REST OF MY LIFE ! "  [Translation: I will disinherit you].
> Maria was witness to these exchange of words; I never doubted any of
> his or her testimony.

> Within 2 days, John took his every possession out of my home, and he
> any his wife went to live with Dolores.  This lasted only 2 months,
> since my ex-wife has a border-line personality disorder.  Nobody can
> live with her ...... in the world of sex, she would be the brutal
> dominatrix, with whips and chains and all that goes that type of
> personality.

> John eventually divorce his wife, and began an existence of a
> vagrant.  He put himself through school, studying criminal justice.
> He has never put that piece of paper to any good use.  At the
> moment, he is in the regular US Army in Kuwait (as supply support).

> All is not lost.  He married a beautiful German woman, and
> apparently the bloom is still on, but I don't know what the future
> holds for him.

> In the family courts, I was treated like a second-class citizen.
> One judge (Carrie), smiled benevolently toward my ex-wife, only to
> turn his head and fairly growl at me, as if I were a serial
> murderer.

> Bottom line: As a teacher and industrial instructor (nuclear-
> electric power plants), I have help so many people out of difficult
> situations, only to be prohibited from raising my own children
> during their formative years.  Money is not everything, but try
> living without it.  The combined wealth of John and Maria will never
> equal what my ex-wife and I have accomplished separately.

> This not just the fate of my 2 bright bulbs ...... There are
> millions of American children who will never be able to reach their
> full potential....

> Do children suffer from the sins of their fathers and mothers ?  You
> bet they do !...

> Our once vaunted courts, a shining example to the rest of the world,
> are now a complete disgrace.  And at the bottom of this pile of
> judicial dung heap are our modern family courts !

--- From: Marceau-Hawthorne, Mary Jo <MMARCEAU@OCDUS.JNJ.COM>

> Very nice Easter message.  I really enjoyed it.  It will make me
> think for a long time.

> Did I ever tell you that many people I work with think I am a real
> reformist.  Ha Ha.  That tells you how much as a people we try to
> make changes instead of just going along with the current. Mostly
> everyone thinks someone else is doing something about it so they
> won't have to.  Ha Ha.  We know that.

--- From: LEE SHABER <>

> Hey John, thanks for the Epistle.It was GREAT...!!!!
> Good writing.
> DR. LEE.

--- From:  <>

> Amen Brother!

3. Your FEEDBACK - What are YOU going to do?
Got a wide range of responses (and non-responses) to what parents,
acting alone, are willing to do.  We did not have enough room for
all thoughts here, expect more in a later FEEDBACK.

--- From: Robert Muchnick <>

>> 2. What are you going to do - ask the right question.
>> ----------------------------------------------------
>> Sometimes to get a good answer, you have to ask the right question.
>> This is one we may all be able to answer about Family Law Reform.

>Oh, yeah, right. All of us know exactly what to do. When have YOU ever
>asked the right question, or approached the right person? Hilarious
>Clinton? You call yourself an activist?

>> Send us an email and tell us what YOU are going to do to right now to
>> make reform happen.  Please don't start your answer with "I'll join
>> other people in an effort to...."  If no one else cared, and no one
>> else "showed up" -- what would YOU be willing to do right now?

>> As a group we have talked about Sacrifice and Civil Rights -- is that
>> part of the answer for us as individuals?  Many of you have done a lot
>> in letter writing, lobbying, counseling, etc... is that enough?  What
>> is the "next level" of individual effort?  Also, if you find yourself
>> not ready to do much, please let us know why.

>> We'd like to share all your answers with others.

>I hope you will. "Letter writing, lobbying, counseling"? What kind of
>useless effort is that? This is about FREEDOM. That isn't won with "letter
>writing" and other useless endeavors. Wake UP.

>I am suing the State of Colorado challenging the Constitutionality of the
>"best interests of the child" statute, in federal court, under which law
>ALL of this custody bullshit is justified.

>Wayne Stillman is suing the State of Colorado challenging the
>Constitutionality of the so-called "child support" statute, under which
>ALL Fascist wealth transfers to "custodial" parents are made.

>If you want to see ACTION, go to

>YOU are harassing Hillary "It Takes A Village" Clinton who could not give
>a shit less about your issues, since she is a Socialist and you apparently
>are terminally ignorant of that.

>And YOU have the temerity to ask 'is what we have done enough', in so many
>words? You have done nothing but try to be an American Gandhi. America is
>NOT based on Indian theories of non-violence or other social idiocies.
>America was BORN out of violence against British oppressors. Read HISTORY,
>Mr. American.

>Grow up and do something useful. Otherwise, you are nothing more than an
>utter waste of time.

>The operative concept here is DO SOMETHING USEFUL. "Writing" about your
>mental self-gratification is useless, and serves only YOUR need to be seen
>as "doing something".

--- From: Joanne Rudman <>

> Hi, John, This is just a personal note in response to this email
> which I never deleted, but read again recently.Presently I am
> located in Sacramento, CA.  I still like to follow the "action" and
> thoughts from the east coast, especially PA, my home state.  I keep
> my affiliation with the Pittsburgh Chapter of National Chapter of
> Fathers and Children, am on the national board of directors, and am
> trying to unite a lot of efforts around the country.

> We all have the basic conviction and proof that there is a lot of
> corruption in our family court system and want to do something to
> change that fact.  I will send you a copy of my intended email to
> Hillary.  I have written many times and never even received a simple
> acknowledgment, not even a "go to hell" or "cease and desist."  She
> probably wishes me away with the excuse that I must be just another
> radical! Anyway, I like the way you get on the soapbox...

> Perhaps you should get involved in same lay program in your church
> and take advantage of an opportunity to speak in front of the entire
> congregation on Fathers' Day.  Ask your pastor/rabbi/minister if he
> would consider letting a father speak.  You have a great premise and
> will surely represent the majority of fathers, many mothers,
> grandparents, and especially the children. Joanna

--- From: Greg Romeo <>

>   Understand that being a pacifist in these time is NOT going to work.
> the incident of David vs Goliath and get in step with the end times.

There are times and places where War is necessary, where violence will
happen.  But is any of that needed for Family Law reform? No.  We
haven't talked very much and you seem like a pragmatic, no-nonsense
guy -- but what exactly are you willing to sacrifice to make things
better for parents and children?  You going to go to DC and carry a
bigger poster around?  You going to wait till a few more people are
steamed up enough to riot a little and tip some cars overs?


Everybody talks about the "end times" and I guess they always will,
but get real!  Don't tell me about what Gregg is willing to do with a
few other people, what is Gregg Romeo willing do by himself and what
are his goals?

You have to excuse me, but I just get tired of hearing people whine
about things and send "hot" email messages (like that is going to do
anything).  I have to congratulate you for at least going down to DC
and putting a lot of time and effort into some things that failed
because other people didn't try as hard and didn't even care that
much.  What you are doing is 95% more than most of the people on our
mailing list -- but I think we have to take things to a whole other


> ... I for one cannot wait another three decades for some type of
> reform I only have one life to live and I am spending far to much of
> what I have left without my daughters. We can talk and or litigate
> this until we are blue in the face and end up passing this ugly
> legacy on to our own.


I QUITE AGREE WITH YOU! It is going to take action and sacrifice --
but give me some details of what you plan on doing?  You are certainly
welcome to join me in July outside the offices of Senator Clinton
carrying a picture of your daughters.  We all care about the issue,
but let's face it WRITING ALL IN CAPS does not mean a thing.  What are
you going to actually do, that was the question in the message.

[Roberts' follow up reply is below - Ed.]


> In numbers there is strengh,in unity there is visability and greater
> support . This will draw the attention of the media which will
> inturn draw the attention of the public, which in turn will add to
> our numbers and bring greater and more immediate Focus to our
> greivences. History has shown use time after time that this is the
> only way to effect any real and lasting change. There are many
> issues involved here and an even greater number of groups and
> individuals attempting to address their specific greivences, yet
> many of these concerns co-exsist or follow the same path, so to
> speak, Fathers Rights, DCFS. Domestic Violence, Judicial

> Accountability, The ethical and moral decay of not just our Family
> Courts but the Entire Legal System. Attorney Fraud and
> Accountability.  Does not a great deal of this draw a picture of a
> almost total disregard for the foundation of our Nations birth.  Our
> American Constitution This is clearly in all its many guises, is a
> Civil Rights Movement and to many even a Human Rights issue and
> there is not a great distance between one and the other, Dr. King
> would have seen this and Gandi would have most certainly raised his
> voice.

> John I have great respect for all your sincere efforts and I am in
> no way trying to tell you that they have not been of great servise
> to our cause.  I would simply hope to see the many diverse and
> concerned people that have mutual greivences come together, join
> hands and go to your state capitals on June 7th and 8th and join us
> in our nations capital on June 14th and 15th and with our brothers
> and sisters around the world we will show in a very vivid way our
> love for our children, our familys, and our faith. Please, together
> we can make this work, our children need us NOW, WE simply cannot
> wait as long as even one, just one child is made to suffer. God's
> Speed to you all

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