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Hall of Shame (page 8)

Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the "system" without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers. The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal "nightmare" may realize -- you are not alone!  We want you to here them in their own words. We can't vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you will understand the bitterness and frustration you will hear in some of these.

Name: Jeff Tennis   Location:   Ontario, CA

Email Addr:  usctennis1993@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date:  Chad (1993), Luke (1998), Peri (2000)

Date Separated: 7/29/2007

Ongoing custody issues -- mother has Chad 100% and is positioning to take the other two.

I was married in June 1990, we had three children, separated in 2003 and divorced in 2005. In the State of California we have what are called 730 custody evaluations where psychologists evaluate parents for "fitness". The psychologist appointed to conduct mine did a lousy job and is currently being reviewed by the California Board of Psychology and the California Medical Board. Parents in California can have their 730's reviewed by another psychologists and this is called a 733 evaluation.

My 733 was glowing and identified numerous factual errors in the initial 730, although this guy did not write anything until 14 months after initial contact and a few days before custody was awarded to my ex. I filed a complaint against that psychologist, and it's now sitting in the Office of the State Attorney General. For the benefit of our kids we must all fight corruption, incompetence, bias and dereliction on all fronts.

Name: Victor Avidor   Location:   Newark, NJ

Email Addr:  Victor_Avidor889@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date:  Katelynn, 1993

Date Separated: 2000

No contact, lives in Florida with divorced maternal grandmother, possibly. I have the strangest case around, I dare to say. I am married with 2 kids.

When I was in college about 15 years ago, my then girlfriend became pregnant. She gave birth to a girl and moved out (we lived together). About 3 months later, social services became involved with the police because they discovered she had abused the baby in serious ways.

I had physical custody of her at that time, signed legal documentation with the state to protect her and had a court document adjudicating me the baby's father. (the court lost these docs, but I retained them).

Young and naive at the time, I allowed my daughter to stay with her divorced maternal grandfather in his and his ex-wife's NJ home. I was an active part of my daughter's life and provided what money I could afford at the time to support her. Guess what happened? The divorced maternal grandparents got together and applied for full legal custody of my daughter without my knowledge or consent.

---- How did they do this??? They simply went to court and signed SWORN documents denying any knowledge of my whereabouts! (while they hosted me just about every other day in their home with my daughter!!!!!!!!!!)

It gets more shocking --- the divorced grandparents (the grandfather passed away 3 years ago) then proceeded to sue me for child support from Florida and the nightmare began!

Getting custody of my child was a lost cause because the states all have competing jurisdiction and lawyers began sucking what little money I had. (They are truly sociopaths that feed on the misfortunes of others. (The only ones worse are the actual judges that rule on a whim my lawyer told me to drop him from the case and get another because he thought the judge would rule against me as my lawyer had personally offended him in the beginning of the case). I was also told that the judge (now retired) played golf in a country club near the divorced grandparents home and had a rapport with the grandfather. Land of the free???????? I wrote to the courts about this. Somehow they did not address the issue  now, I wonder why that is? After two tortuous years of letter writing to the highest authorities - the judge heard my case. I was in a wheelchair at the time. The judge apologized to me for all my trouble/illness and VACATED the child support order. I was so exhausted I left without speaking my mind.

I would like to know why the grandparents were not punished for so brazenly lying to the court. When you lie to the court isn't that perjury? I had canceled checks, dated pictures and videos - everything! But, the judge just said, "Mr. Avidor (that's me) we have so many cases we cannot keep track of all of them... we did not know who you were. (what about the court's own docs adjudicating me the father?) We will be praying for your recovery...yeah, right!

It has been five years since His Excellency's ruling. In all that time I have spoken to my daughter once and received maybe 6 or 7 letters from her tops.

The workers in the court were as outraged as me. They saw very clearly the undeniable pattern of deceit and perjury committed when I displayed the canceled checks and other docs.. I was advised to get on with my life (despite the loss of my child) and be thankful I do not have any wage garnishments. It was never about the money, anyway.

I often think what would have happened to the grandparents if they were black. (I am Caucasian).

I am so effected by the insomnia and emotional meltdown I endured while being diagnosed with MS (incorrectly) and being threatened by the courts that I am in serious need of therapy.

Could you kindly forward this e-mail to as many people as possible?

I never believed in real evil until now. What is devastating to me is how utterly corrupt and evil many of these family courts are. I think that my letters to the high court judges and my confinement to a wheelchair ultimately shamed the court into at least vacating the child support judgment so cleverly initiated against me from Florida.

This has been "over" for 5 years now (soon 6) but the enormous anger, frustration and emotional pain - loss, and separation has taken a terrible toll on my emotional well being.

Name: Kathie Davis   Location:   Lawrence, KS

Email Addr:  kathieannedavis@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date:  Jeffrey, born in 1992, Julie born in 1994, Keri born in 1997

Date Separated: Feb, 1998

I haven't seen Keri since Feb of 1998, Jeffrey and Julie are currnetly in Louisiana and I am allowed NO CONTACT.

I signed custody of my three children, Jeffrey, Julie and Keri, over to my mother in March of 1998. Within one month the youngest child, Keri, was missing. It has been seven years, during which my mother has drawn benefits from the state of Louisiana on her. I have been fighting for my children ever since I signed those papers.

On July 13, 2002, my mother and my stepfather (a Louisiana law enforcement officer) brought my two oldest kids to me here in Kansas. They have lived with me for nine months. The 3rd child, who is now eight years old, I haven't seen since she was 13 months old. My parents SOLD her for $35,000 to another police officer and his wife who live in Sylva, North Carolina . I have never been able to get ANY attention to the fact that a child was sold. I had surgery on Monday (4/14/03) and the next day, while I was still in the hospital, the Ellis County Sheriff Department in Hays, Kansas sent an officer to my children's school and removed them from school, they were then placed in protective custody and I was not allowed to see them. The next morning my step father picked them up and returned to Louisiana with them. My mother had called the Ellis County Attorney and claimed that I had come to visit the kids over the Christmas holiday (2002) and stated that I left to take them to the store to buy them something, and never returned with them (kidnapped them).

However, I have DOCUMENTED proof that the children have been living with me since last July, including school records that place them here all school year. I also have proof that she brought them to me. The county attorney didn't ask any questions and informed me that it was a "professional courtesy" among law enforcement officials that they help each other out, he simply said, "ok" and sent my kids with my step father. This is the same man that molested not only me, but my sister as well for most of our early childhood, and then came to me totally naked when I was 15 years old and was putting his hands all over me and such until I ran out of the room, into my bedroom, and locked the door until my mother returned home from work. When I told her what had happened she said to me "How dare you accuse him of that when all he has ever done was be a father to you."

My mother and this same man locked my sister and me inside a mobile home in January of 1980, when I was in the  second grade, and then set the mobile home on fire and simply drove away. When the smoke woke my sister up, she got me up, we tried to get out, but the deadbolt on BOTH doors had been turned around so you had to have a key to get out instead of in. The windows had been screwed shut from the outside as well. My sister, who is two years older than I, then proceeded to bust a window with a kitchen chair, knocked the shards of glass out with her Barbie doll, and helped me climb out then she climbed out, too. We lived out in the country, so there were no neighbors to run to for help, instead when the school bus ran that morning, we got on it and went to school, still wearing our pajamas. Nobody has ever investigated this matter, and I am not sure how much proof can be accumulate this many years later, but I will not stop until these people pay for their crimes and my children are returned home to me. I tried everything that I could to stop them from being taken away, but I was powerless against the law.

My mother passed away on June 15, 2003. I was not notified of her death until June 24, 2003. I left to go and pick up my children on June 27, 2003. For my own safety, I contacted the Morehouse Parish Sheriffs Department when I first got into town . I asked them to escort me out to pick up my children. I showed them the custody papers that do NOT have my stepfathers name on them at all. They told me that they would go with me to get my children. I was following the officer (Sgt. Hall) to the house and one mile before we got to the house, he pulled his police car over and so I also stopped. He then informed me that "I was just told not to get involved." I was devastated, I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I screamed, I cussed, and all of it was useless. I refused to allow the officer to leave the site until he told me WHY. He said that he had called the sheriff from his car and the sheriff told him NOT to help me.

I told the officer that this man was of NO relation to my children, I told him about him molesting me and my sister as children, I told him about my youngest daughter being SOLD, I told him that my children were in danger and that they HAD to be removed from that house. He replied "if I get involved I could loose my pension." I was appalled, how could a law enforcement officer who had taken an oath to protect and serve put his pension before the safety of my children. I demanded an answer to that and was informed that I had NO RIGHTS TO MY OWN CHILDREN!

I left there and went to the neighboring parish and asked them what I should do. I was then informed that had they lived in that parish I would have my children. The truth about the whole situation is simply that my stepfather is a close friend of the sheriff where he lives. I then asked who was the sheriff's boss and was told "nobody." I then asked "so in other words Danny McGrew (the sheriff) is God in Morehouse Parish?" and the answer I was given was "basically yes." I was sent away again without my babies.

 I have been doing some research and I have found that my stepfather has been using three different social security numbers, and my mother had been using two different ones. I have also found that US Code Title 42 Section 408 makes it a felony to do this, but yet again, it is nobody's jurisdiction. I also know that they had sued numerous companies for workers' comp. for fake injuries, along with a couple of other fake lawsuits; it has been their way of life. In speaking with my ex-husband, I learned that the entire time that the children lived with me he was still continuing to pay monthly child support payments to my mother, who kept the money and spent it. These people are career con artists and something needs to be done to protect my babies

On the second trip to try to get my children, this time I went prepared with a legal pleading that I prepared myself, and an appointment to see a judge. When I saw the judge, he told me that the papers that I had prepared were not done correctly, and that I would have to have an attorney . He did refer me to an attorney, who agreed to help me. This attorney filed a paper with the courts to have the children removed from my stepfathers home and brought to the courthouse the very next morning, and the judge held a hearing that same morning while the children were being held in a small room in the court house. During this hearing my stepfather lied to the judge and told him that I had kidnapped my children during the summer of 2002, however he couldn't explain why there was never a police report filed. He also accused me of beating my children, not feeding them, and sending them to school dirty. All of which is a lie. The judge agreed to set it up for another hearing in order to allow Tom Smith to get an attorney.

The hearing was set to be held on October 20, 2003, but yet again, ordered that I leave my children with this monster. I have plenty of witnesses to the fact that I am a very good mother and I do NOT mistreat my children, however, all of these witnesses live here in Kansas and cannot afford to go to Louisiana to go to court. The Uniform Child Custody Act of 1997 states that in order for a custody trial to be held, it must be held in the child's home state, home state is defined as "the last state that a child lived in for a consecutive six month period of time prior to the filing date." In our case that would be Kansas, the children will have been gone for six months on October 15, 2003; I filed this case on September 20, 2005. The next court date was set for October 20, 2003, I took my children's' natural father with me. I also took my children's' natural grandmother, my aunt, and my sister, and a cousin.

During that trip to court, I learned that my children told the judge last time that they love me, they miss me, and they want to come home. This time, an attorney that was appointed by the judge to represent the children testified that my children didn't want to see me, didn't want to talk to me, & didn't want me in their lives. My attorney asked him one question, "What would be your conclusion if I told you that just four weeks ago, those same children told this judge that they loved their mother, missed her, & wanted to go home with her?" his response was "I would be very shocked and I would have to say that the children have been severely coached."

Another point brought up this time was the kidnapping allegations. My stepfather could not "remember" the date that I "kidnapped" them. He did however know that it was "a Saturday in July 2002" In July both of my oldest children have birthdays, and luckily for me, they both fell on a Saturday in 2002. Julie's on the 6th and Jeffrey's on the 20th. My stepfather's attorney placed me at their house in Bastrop, LA on Saturday, July 13, 2002 at exactly 9am by having my half-brother testify that he spoke with my mother on the phone during his break at work that day and said that I was talking in the background telling my mother to tell him I said hello. They said I was driving a dark colored car with Kansas tags. The problem with that is that I live 16 hours away from there, yet I didn't get off of work Friday, July 12, 2002 until midnight. Physically impossible for me to be there unless I flew, yet, if I had flown, how was I driving a car with Kansas tags?

They also said that they didn't hear from me after that, that I simply disappeared. I have records from my job, and my landlord showing that I did not move nor did I change my job. I also have telephone records showing that I was calling their house and staying on the phone for anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes at least once a week.

When they were asked why a police report was never filed on the kidnapping, the response from my stepfather was "My wife loved her daughter so much she didn't want to see her go to jail" yet when asked why I wasn't notified when my mother died his response was "My wife didn't want that little bitch to know."
Needless to say, I had documentation that everything that they accused me of was a total lie. The 3rd day that we were in court when we got back from the lunch recess, as I walked into the court room, I saw my stepfather coming out of the judge's office WITH the judge but nobody else. When court convened the judge said that he was leaving the district and didn't have time to finish hearing the case. My stepfather's attorney had finished her case. She had already cross-examined me and my ex-husband. The only thing left to do was for my attorney to question me, my ex husband, and my stepfather.

The judge said that he would have to set yet another date, and yet again, my kids were to stay there with that monster. I went downstairs to the clerk's office to get the new date, like had been done in the past, yet when I got down off the elevator and to the office, the judge had beat me there, and instead of setting the date then, like had been done in the past, the clerk informs me that they won't set the next date until the judge gets back to the district. I informed her and my attorney that I had spent all my money on these trips, and that due to that my phone was about to be disconnected. I made sure they both had my address and I told them both that I would be calling them asking about the date.

I returned home to Kansas and called there at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. I called on Friday, December 12, 2003 and was told that no date had been set yet. I called back on Tuesday, December 16, 2003 and was informed that court had been held on Monday, December 15, 2003 and that the Judge ruled against me on the grounds I didn't "bother" to show up. I have since been unable to get ANY further information and my own attorney has YET to speak to me. I have tried calling his office, writing letters to him, and still no response.

Since all this has happened, I have been doing EVERYTHING I could possibly imagine that might help. I cannot afford to pay another attorney. I always get the same response, basically, everyone agrees that I deserve at least my FAIR chance in court, but I have yet to meet anyone willing to do anything to help me get there.

This monster is making my 11-year-old daughter sleep in the bed with him; please help me save my children!
Something here is WAY wrong!

My two oldest children are currently located at 7277 Bridgett Lane, Bastrop, LA 71220, as for Keri, all I have are the names Gary & Lisha Shular of Sylva, North Carolina.

I have done a lot of my own research and I found a photo of my daughter on this web page... http://www.thesylvaherald.com/081904/html/celebrating_fontana_s_60th.html 

I also found this contact information for Gary Shular... http://sheriff.jacksonnc.org/html/civil_process.html 

I can be reached at........... (785)979=0012
kathieannedavis@hotmail.com
1121 E 13th Apt B-8
Lawrence, Kansas 66044

Name: Raymond Goossens   Location:   Viola, IL

Email Addr:  illinoisdeputy777@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date:  Raina, 2001

Date Separated: 2001

Many legal motions in court now, also custody hearing.  I WAS FALSELY ACCUSED OF MOLESTING MY 3 YR OLD DAUGHTER.  I AM A POLICE OFFICER OF 11YRS.  I HAVE BEEN CLEARED OF EVERYTHING, AND NOW EVEN THE DCFS INVESTIGATOR SAID HE NOW SEES HE MADE A MISTAKE.  I'M INNOCENT.  I HAVE SPENT $23,000 SO FAR AND COUNTING.  I HAVE BEEN SEEN BY 2 PSYCHOLOGISTS, BEEN CLEARED.  TWO JUDGES HAVE CLEARED ME, SO I'M WAITING FOR MY CUSTODY HEARING , AS I AM NOW GOING FOR FULL CUSTODY. I AM WAITING ALSO FOR A CUSTODY EVAL that is costing me $3,000 but will show me ex has some issues. Who is suffering is my baby

Name: Jeremiah Holder   Location:   APO, AE 09175

Email Addr:  jeremy@redondowa.com

Children/Birth Date: Jordan Wesley Holder/1994, Kyle Louis Holder/1999

Date Separated: May 5, 2000

My story is long and complex, but the center of my story is my effort to have my children returned to their home in Germany.

In May, 2000 my (ex)wife left with our two young children from our home in Germany for a six week vacation to Mt. Vernon, WA to visit with her parents. 3 days after she arrived in WA, my (ex)wife informed me that she would not be returning to Germany.

I had no idea what my legal rights were, but for the next several weeks I pleaded and groveled for the return of my (ex)wife and our children. Eventually, I was told, "If you want to talk to me, then talk to my lawyer."

Since it was now clear that she had no intention of working something out between us, I contacted my local JAG office to see what my options were. I was told to file for divorce in my "home of record".

**Note: This is horrible advice. A military members "home of record" has no bearing on child custody. According to the UCCJEA, a child must have been living in the state 6 consecutive months prior to custody papers being filed in order for their to be subject matter jurisdiction.**

I immediately filed papers for divorce and asked the CA court to order the return of our children to our home in Germany. I informed the court that my ex had moved out our home and the case should be considered a "move away".

We were immediately sent to mediation. Upon arriving, I was asked by the mediator, "How are you going to arrange for visitation?" I was shocked. We had just walked into the room and it was already a foregone conclusion that I would be the parent "visiting". I asked the mediator, "How is it that we can be talking visitation when we haven't even addressed custody yet?" She replied, "You're in the military, right?" "Yes." "You live in Germany, right?" "Yes"..."Then the kids stay with the mother."

That was the total of my custody battle. I arranged that day for some visitation, because my ex refused to allow me any contact without a court order. While exercising that visitation, I found a new lawyer (within three days) who informed me that we went about it all wrong and in fact, California lacked SMJ, and we should have filed a Hague Convention petition.

That was August, 2000. I cannot go into all the details, but since that time, I have been through the CA appellate court, where they made an unpublished opinion which made (not necessarily) a military exception as a rule, but an exception to the UCCJEA in my particular case.

I have also been through the federal courts in WA...first to the District Court for the Western District of WA, which stayed my case to see how the CA custody case was going (opposite of what should happen). I appealed to the 9th Circuit, which remanded the case back to the District Court to have an "expeditious hearing". A three day hearing was held and it was determined that I did not have a case because our home had never left CA (the United States) even though we had moved all of our possessions out of the country. Additionally, none of the parties lived in that state, not even when she chose to abduct the children back to the US.

I appealed again to the 9th Circuit, which added one more blow on Dec. 9, 2004. In its Opinion, the court states that I "failed to prove that we abandoned the United States" as our habitual residence. So the court created a whole new burden upon petitioner's in Hague cases. Not only do you have to prove where you lived, but where you didn't live (or on longer lived).

The proof the court offered for a lack of abandonment, is that we move only temporarily (4 year tour), and the military paid for it, so it didn't count. Additionally, we lived on base, so our home in Germany didn't count as well.

I am now preparing an En Banc Petition for the 9th Circuit. The premise of my argument is that they put an unrealistic burden upon the "left-behind" parent that is contrary to the specific provisions of the Hague Convention. I also intend to argue that a new "military exception" clause is being created because the only distinguishing factor between my case and the majority of cases in which the children were returned is that I was military.

I don't have much faith anymore in this legal system, but I will put in the fight because it is the right thing to do. It has cost me and my family dearly. Most importantly, it has cost us the time we could have spent together as family. It has also taken a huge financial toll...well over $140,000.

If more information is desired, then please check www.findlaw.com , or a request can be made and I will send all documentation/arguments desired.

There must be legislative change before we will get cultural change in the Family Court System. One major issue is the family court's complete lack of accountability. The family court should be just as accountable to the rule of law as the criminal courts. After all, besides our right to freedom, what greater right is there than parenthood/privacy?

Name: Wendy Miller   Location:   Angie, LA

Email Addr: ncoolmaw@wmconnect.com

Children/Birth Date: Koby Miller 2000, Kaitlin Miller 2001

Date Separated: Nov 2001

Maternal grandparents have legal guardianship of children. Second degree cruelty to a juvenille charge pending against father of children. 

One night in November, 2001 my one-month-old baby girl, Kaitlin, stopped breathing while in the arms of my husband, Brian. I was in the bedroom with my little boy, Koby, about twenty feet down the hallway from where Brian was trying to get Kaitlin to sleep. She had been pretty irritable all night with what we thought was a stomachache. I heard Kaitlin crying as I was clipping Koby's fingernails, and I heard her when she stopped crying. I thought nothing of it; I just thought she had cried herself to sleep. It was at that point that my husband carried her back to the bedroom where I was to tell me that she felt funny. When I observed her, it was obvious something was very wrong, and this is when my worst nightmare began.

I frantically called 911 and told them to send an ambulance immediately. I then called my dad who lives about 100 yards from our house and told him something was wrong with Kaitlin. Brian had already started giving Kaitlin some rescue breaths while I was on the phone. As soon as my dad arrived, he and Brian began CPR. Kaitlin had begun faintly crying when the ambulance arrived about 20 minutes later. My dad met the paramedic at the door where he handed Kaitlin over and the man laid her on an adult sized stretcher and instructed me to sit in the front seat. The ambulance drove away with my little girl, totally unrestrained, and then proceeded to the end of the road where the driver slammed on breaks to avoid a collision with a Sheriff's deputy. She was rushed to Riverside Hospital in Franklinton by the way of rural roads. The paramedic attempted to start an IV in Kaitlin's foot, but failed. When we arrived at the hospital, Kaitlin was stable and the ER te! am began tests.

After being in the ER for a couple of hours, they admitted her into a regular room, but still had not made a diagnosis. They mentioned sepsis and reflux apnea as possible diagnoses. The next morning her doctor examined her and was considering sending her home but after conferring with the pediatrician decided to transfer her to Children's Hospital for precautionary reasons. The doctor also said they would teach us to use an apnea monitor.

On the way to Children's Hospital, Kaitlin began having seizures. Once she was admitted to Children's, she began seizing more frequently so they sent her to PICU. We were not given any information on Kaitlin's condition, just that it was grave.

The next day a Washington Parish OCS investigator and a forensic pediatrician, Dr. Scott Benton were questioning us about what had happened. We answered all of their questions very honestly and cooperated whole-heartedly; however, it didn't make any difference. In their minds, they already knew what had happened, and it was at this point that we realized that Brian was being accused of child abuse. Dr. Benton labeled my husband from the very beginning saying that because he was young, unemployed, and former military, he fit the profile of a child abuser perfectly. While we were trying to digest that, they also told us that they wanted to perform a range of tests on our son, then 16 months old, for a sibling comparison in which he would have to be put to sleep. The tests on my son were to be performed in Franklinton so if I wanted to be with him that meant I would have to leave my little girl. All of the tests on Koby came back fine, but we were still told that we! were not to be alone with our son.

After three weeks in Children's Hospital, Kaitlin was released, but not to the loving and comforting hands of her parents. OCS had decided to take custody of both of our children and placed them with my mom and dad. Since then, my husband and I have been allowed liberal visitation but an adult must supervise us at all times. We have both cooperated to the fullest extent with law enforcement and OCS. Brian has been before a Grand Jury who passed a "No True Bill". We've been told by our caseworker that the department believes the only reason Brian was not prosecuted is because there was political influence by my dad on the Assistant DA, which makes absolutely no sense. Regardless, the Assistant DA has decided to override the Grand Jury and prosecute Brian anyway. We have been to see two doctors with our caseworker, which have disputed some of Dr. Benton's theories. Both times after the appointments, OCS arranged meetings with Dr. Benton a! nd the disputing doctors. The doctors now deny ever telling us anything that disputed Dr. Benton's theories. Our case worker has even told us and one of the doctors that she is not totally convinced that Brian abused Kaitlin and that she didn't agree with the recommendation that she was going to give in court but that if she didn't give that recommendation she would be fired. OCS has also been using me to try to get a confession from Brian. I have been told that unless I convict and divorce my husband, I will never get my kids back. My parents have also felt threatened by OCS. OCS has said that because my parents do not believe that Brian abused Kaitlin they too are potentially a threat to the safety of my kids; and, therefore, my children could be placed in foster care.

My husband has been very adamant that he did not harm our little girl, but OCS just keeps telling us that until they know what happened we will never get our kids back. OCS has said that they do not believe that I did anything to Kaitlin, but because they do not know exactly what happened, I am a threat to my kids' safety. I have been in counseling for ten months. Brian has also been through counseling but has been told that unless he makes a confession, there is no reason for him to be counseled any further. Both of the counselors were hired by OCS. They want my husband to make a confession to something that he did not do and even then we are not guaranteed that we will ever get our kids back. We have explained every detail to the best of our recollection of that horrible night to law enforcement, OCS, a grand jury, and a judge. We have waived all of our rights to testify. We have completely cooperated with everything anyone has asked of us. OCS has even told! us that there is nothing short of a confession that we can do to end this mess and get our kids back.

In October, 2002, we attended a hearing in which the judge decided to give legal guardianship of my children to my parents. At that same hearing we also found out that my husband was being charged with second degree cruelty to a juvenile. We have hired separate attorneys now, but they haven't been able to do anything for us. At Brian's pre-trial hearing the attorney told us that after speaking with the prosecutor and the trial judge neither believe the allegations against my husband. The prosecutor has also told my husband's attorney that the DA's office does not want to prosecute this case, but they have to satisfy OCS. I ask, "Who's running the show here?" but I think the answer is obvious.

I understand the reason why OCS got involved in this case, but they have taken this too far. Something has to be done. My daughter is now 18 months old and my son is almost 3 years old. Both children are very healthy, and we are all managing the situation the best we can. My biggest fear is that by the time my children get to come home, if ever, they will not want to anymore. I could not handle that since my children are my whole life. This has caused strained relations between my husband and me, my parents, and both of our families. All I want is my family.

Name: Patrick & Samantha Weber   Location:   Milwaukee, WI

Email Addr: Ssammie01@aol.com

Children/Birth Date: Leandra Przybyla  1993
Michael Przybyla  2000

Date Separated: 4/1996 & 6/2001

Our daughter has been adopted by her foster parents Our nephew Michael's mother is in the process of having her rights terminated. 

Leandra was taken from us in April 1996 after a custody issue with her birth mother turned violent. I was trying to gain sole custody of my daughter since her mother had not had any contact with her in 2 years. Her birth mother showed up in court strung out on drugs and started a fist fight with my fiance. When we went into court the family law judge said he wanted the case turned into a "CHIPS" petition. This meant that the daughter I had fought so hard to keep with me would now be placed in a foster home 50 miles from where I lived. I had no vehicle and was only allowed to visit my daughter when her foster mother allowed and only around the corner from her home. I was also instructed not to bring anybody with me or the visit would be cancelled. 

Visits were always supervised and limited, the foster mother always had some type of conflict with the times that I would be available for visits. I worked second shift and Saturdays, leaving Sundays as my best chance of visiting with my daughter, except that the foster family had declared Sunday's "Family Day" and even though she was my daughter I was not permitted to visit with her on Sundays. As time progressed and I met as many of their requirements as I humanly could and got a little closer to getting my daughter back they pulled a new rabbit out of their hat. 

The accused me of molesting my daughter therefore stopping all visits unless supervised by a social worker, when they were available. I still don't know exactly what these social workers do with their time because they were never available for visits. Of course that was if they could get any one social worker to stay on the case for any length of time. Over the course my case I had nine different case workers on my case, and every time they changed that meant starting all over again. After completing a parenting class, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, AODA treatment, Batterers Anonymous, counseling, getting married and  keeping a very safe and healthy home they informed me that I would not be suitable to be given custody of my daughter, of course this decision was helped along by the foster mother who dearly wanted to adopt my daughter and had gotten permission from my daughter's absent biological mother to adopt they then forced my hand into giving up my parental rights. 

Now I live with the regret that I volunteered my rights and did not know enough at that time to fight fire with fire. I have lost my daughter to a woman who is old enough to be her great-grandmother has adopted 13 child. The system failed me and my daughter and now it is failing my sister in the exact same way. My nephew was placed in protective custody 13 months ago in a foster home where the foster mother has had 19 miscarriages and is unable to have children of her own so she has decided to use the foster care system in a way the the state officials allow, a "legalized adoption agency" you get to pick and choose the children that you would like to keep for yourself. If you don't like the child you can help make that child's return home successful, but boy, if you really like that child you can help the department keep the mother or father away and form a bond with that child and there you have a child to call your own and a lot sooner than going through a traditional adoption agency. 

My wife and I even tried to gain placement of our nephew but now the bond the foster family has formed him is more important the the bond mother and child formed through pregnancy and in the time they had together and it's more important than keeping him with his "biological family".

I would like to see changes made in the system, families put back together and GAL's, DA's, and social workers held accountable for their actions. Our cases took place in Milwaukee, WI 

Name: Jerry Gunn   Location:   Centennial, CO

Email Addr: ncp_justice@att.net

Children/Birth Date: Kevin (1990), Shawn (1994)

Date Separated: 1995

I want to let you know about a set of recent events that has made my stomach turn. This is a watered-down, but long story. Please hear me out. My only hope is that you will come to realize the full extent of the deep emotional turmoil and sense of hopelessness my husband is suffering at being separated from his children and over his dealings with the family court. 

To start, my husband had two very charming and beautiful boys with his then girlfriend, Jennifer. Kevin was born in 1990 and Shawn in 1994. Shortly after Shawn was born the relationship, in which both were abusive to each other, ended. The state of Michigan filed an order giving sole custody and control of the boys to Jennifer and ordered Jerry to pay the Friend of the Court (FOC) $128.00 plus administrative fees per week in child support. In addition, he was ordered to pay 90% of any unreimbursed medical expenses. 

The court order, however, failed to give Jerry any kind of visitation rights. Any visits he did have with the boys were at Jennifer's sole discretion and whim. I will commend her for allowing Jerry to see the boys on an every-other weekend schedule. Unfortunately, it was a rare occasion when he got holidays. Jennifer did write the FOC stating that she objected to Jerry paying support because he was already supporting her by paying many of her bills. If he didn't help pay her bills, she could not make it on her own and the children would suffer. 

So, Jerry continued to pay her bills and pay her directly the $128.00 per week to ensure his children were taken care of. After approximately a year, Jennifer disobeyed the court order and moved the children out to Colorado in 1995. Jerry missed his children so much that after a year he packed up everything, left his family and friends, and moved to Colorado to be with them. Since then it has been a constant struggle. Now, my husband is not a saint, nor do I want to paint him as such. But I want you to see what he has done to support his family. Please keep this in mind as you read on. During the first couple of years Jerry was in Colorado, he attempted to find employment. As a laborer and painter, the jobs were inconsistent and paid very little. Although attempting to keep up with his support order, there were times when he literally gave Jennifer every dime to his name. 

And, as he is not familiar with the law, was unaware of his right to request a modification. In early 2000, Jerry and I started dating. We had dated twice before, but that's not relevant. Shortly thereafter Jerry and I set a wedding date for August 18, 2001, and he moved in with me since I owned a town home and his was unemployed. Jerry finally found a job as a construction assistant superintendent. However, because of financial difficulties, Jerry could not obtain a checking account and we deposited his paychecks into my account. I maintained and paid all bills, including his child support and other various child-related costs. In August 2000, Jennifer got upset with Jerry and demanded a child support payment before it was due.

 After a heated discussion, Jennifer called back and left a voice mail message state, "This is the deal: you don't see kids until I see the money." This was the point that I told Jerry he needed to get an attorney and a custody battle soon followed. Although our original intent was to get Jerry legal rights to his boys established and in writing, we found more information about their household and life style that gave us cause for concern. We have found that their stepfather has abused the boys on more than one occasion and consistently uses corporal punishment on them. Jennifer has neglected the boys by failing to get them additional educational assistance when both were failing (Kevin in 4th and Shawn in kindergarten), and didn't get Kevin the dental care he needed when he had an abscessed tooth. 

Additionally, Kevin has been diagnosed as having Post-Traumatic Stress disorder with psychotic features. He also wets the bed every night. Now, I can give additional examples of all the other tidbits we have learned about, but these simple examples should give you insight. So, we petitioned the court for sole custody hoping to at least get more time and a little more decision-making in their lives. Jerry wanted to help his boys become mature, responsible adults. He felt that boys need their father and mother; not just a visitor. Finally, Jerry was in a position to help his children and wanted to do just that. I do want to point out that since this has started we have been alienated from their lives. It is on a rare occasion that Jennifer informs us of doctor and therapy appointments as well as school happenings. 

At one point it got so bad, that Jerry or I was stopping at the school every Thursday to find out what was going on and what we could to do help. In fact, Jennifer failed to show up to two of Kevin's IEP assessment conferences and didn't show up for Kevin's Parent/Teacher conference. In addition, we have had to do damage control by explaining to the boys that their Dad DOES support them. Yes, he does pay child support. No, he didn't abandoned you when you were young. Additionally, Jerry and I offered to pay for summer school and offered to place them on our insurance. Both of which Jennifer declined. Also, we have purchased school supplies, school cloths and various other items for them. Not once has the money been an issue if we had it. We also hired a custody evaluator to make sure that we weren't doing this for the wrong reason and to get his opinion. Unfortunately, we spent $6,500 for an inaccurate and incomplete report. Not to mention the fact that he didn't get his job done on time causing a continuance. 

The evaluator failed to contact important references and then proceeded to write up an additional report about the stepfather hitting Kevin over the head with a gate. In his report he stated that he had talked to all parties involved when he hadn't. Essentially committing fraud on the court. We did, however, come out with a recommendation for ½ time and joint decision-making. With the evaluator's report in hand and all our witnesses, we thought for sure we would at least get a couple additional days a week with the boys. Jerry was a loving, attentive father who wanted nothing more than to be involved with his sons. How could we loose? 

Boy, were we dead wrong. We received our verdict from Magistrate Angela Arkin on August 9, 2002 that allowed my husband's two boys to remain in an abusive and neglectful environment. We even had one of the boys' neighbors testify to what she had been witnessing: ongoing verbal and physical abuse, a filthy house and information from Jennifer that they were selling their house and would move the boys away from Jerry. But, the Magistrate completely ignored it. In addition, we got slammed with hefty arrearages, child support, and a portion of her lawyer fees. All that essentially take 2/3 of my husband's income...putting him below poverty level. 

To add to this horrible set of circumstances, I was just laid off from my job. My husband and I are trying to figure out how we are going to survive. He can't support himself, let alone his new family. During the trial, we were not allowed to enter so many things into evidence. Some of which included taped telephone conversations of Jennifer calling Jerry to help her because Kevin had gotten out of control, and one where Kevin called crying because his Mom had slapped him across the face for talking-back. If you could only hear the hurt and confusion in this boy's voice. Other items included school records and copies of expenses that Jerry had paid on behalf of his children. Her attorney's opening statement included the fact that Jerry was heavily in arrears.

 Now, since the Magistrate had been a former child support enforcement officer, this set her off immediately. Do I think Jerry owed Jennifer money for arrears? Yes. Do I think that affects his ability to parent his children now? No. I feel that the Magistrate was so clearly biased that she failed to hear our side. And I would also like to mention the fact that there are so many mistakes of facts in her order I wonder if she was even in the same courtroom. My husband was blamed for not giving their mother additional money when she asked for it and continually made reference to his "unwillingness to financially support his children." She then proceeded to dismiss the fact that their mother committed welfare fraud, is underemployed, and allows their stepfather to abuse them. 

Needless to say, the boys are confused as well. All they wanted was more time with Dad. Now what happens when they move away? After going through the process we've spent over $40,000 in attorney fees and other related expense, lost our savings and am now left with no choice but to continue pro-se. We can't figure out how we are going to appeal this, or if we can. If we can, where do we begin? I need help understanding how scared, unprepared, or overwhelmed fathers can be helped to go on trying for the love of their children. 

Today, there is no carrot for fathers -- only the stick. I believe that there is an undeniable need for the family court to protect many women, but there is also a strong need for an "unbiased" inquiry into family law and the child-support system to make it fairer and "less brutalizing" for men. Now, I want you to know that if even for an instant I though my husband was a danger to those boys, I would not have supported him throughout this ordeal. What I ask of you is to help. Please help us get our story public. We need publicity! If there is anyone out there who can help us and help the children fight this injustice, we would be eternally grateful. Thank you for your time. 
Gena Glider-Gunn

Name: Mary Jo Marceau-Hawthorne   Location:   Macedon, NY

Email Addr: mmarceauhawthorne@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date: Gwen Ann Marceau, August 12 1985
Brian Arthur Hawthorne, November 6 1989

Date Separated: November 1999

My daughter was taken from my custody because I placed her into a government PINS (Persons in need of Supervision) program for out of control teens. My daughter later filed a complaint against me when told her rights. She claimed I abused and neglected her. This is not true. She is very confused and listened to the wrong people. She was placed into a group home for troubled teens by the court. 

click on image for larger version.

I appealed and asked for a review of the case when I found out she might be suffering from depression. I have never been allowed to have Gwen come home to live and never was any family preservation counseling done by CPS although they claimed to the judge under oath that it was done. Even my daughter knows it was not done but she defends CPS because they give her any thing she wants. They don't supervise my daughter properly and allowed her to go driving with 17 and 18 year old boys at the age of 14. She is now in a foster home and the foster parents are angry with me when I criticize their parenting of my daughter. 

The foster parents both work yet they are paid by the state and county for watching my daughter who is home alone after school. She was supervised in my home after school. My daughter has claimed to me that she had a relationship with a boy that is 21 and named Joe. The foster folks have a son that is 21 and is named Joe. The judge didn't even bother listening to me and he made all of the decisions. 

My daughter testified and the judge believed every word she said and none of what I said. The family courts are corrupt, the CPS and Family Placement divisions are corrupt and violating our constitutional rights as parents. They have absolute power that has corrupted absolutely. We are being treated like a pay check instead of a parent by the court system and this corrupt system is deceiving the tax paying public and misappropriating funds to keep this corruption going. 

We need to take a stand!!!!! We need to take back our country.

Name: Elaine Hartin   Location:   Deltona, FL

Email Addr: cehartin@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date: Grey Hartin (1991)

Date Separated: Aug 28, 1998

My aunt and uncle have custody of my daughter. We will be going to court soon for a contempt hearing. I filed contempt charges against them for violating my court awarded visitation on Mother's Day weekend (of all weekends). I am also planning to take them back to court for a change of custody hearing, but my attorney won't do anything yet because I owe him a rather large sum of money.

My daughter was taken from me by a temporary emergency custody order that was filled with false information. This order was granted without any rebuttal opportunity from me, nor was the Department of Social Services (South Carolina) notified or asked to investigate. I am a gay mom who has been with my partner for four and a half years. My daughter loves us both dearly and she is miserable with my aunt and uncle. I have been handed the burden of proof of fitness from the beginning and I have faced a biased family court system and two biased attorney guardian-ad-litems (one admitted to my attorney she was biased against me only after she had given her recommendation and the hearing was over). 

The judge's latest decision was that he did not find me unfit, but he did not feel that I was fit enough to care for my daughter. I also suffer from manic depression, but I see a doctor regularly and I take my medication faithfully every day. My lifestyle and my illness have been used against me at every turn. I'm chastised for seeing a psychologist to treat my illness, even though it has really helped me get my life and priorities straight. My lifestyle is condemned, though my girlfriend has been VERY supportive throughout this hell. We own a home together, have steady good paying jobs, and a wonderful circle of family and friends who support and love us unconditionally. We have everything a "normal, conventional family" has except a piece of paper that says we have right to live together (otherwise known as a marriage certificate).

 I'm not crusading for gay rights, I just want people to understand that I can love my daughter just the same as a "normal family" can. God made us all and he doesn't make mistakes. I'm currently having to fight to keep my aunt and uncle from alienating my daughter from me. They stand in the way of almost every opportunity we have together and the court seems to condone this. It seems as if I have no rights as a natural mother. 

The family court system in Lexington County, South Carolina has only two to four judges available to handle cases so you pretty much go before the same ones every time. The guardians are attorneys so they all know each other, the judges,... and you know the rest of the story. Your chances for a fair trial are slim to none since your case is not decided by a jury, but by the judges and the guardians. The need for reform is definitely in order. 

Parents, whether on opposing sides or fighting a third-party, seem to have no rights whatsoever when it comes to fighting for their children. Their children's fate lies in the hands of complete strangers, stangers who get paid to break up families every day. Something needs to be done to stop this. No one should have to deal with this sort of pain, especially children.

Name: Jack Jonnasen   Location:   Gainesville, FL

Email Addr: critterbytes@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date: Erica (1986)

Date Separated: 8 May 2002

I can't describe what I was feeling the first few weeks! You know, they took her from school? I didn't even see it happen. I found myself wandering about the back yard, late one night, wondering if she was buried there! My mind wasn't making the connection that they took her. (I knew, but I didn't see it happen, so it didn't!)

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