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Now that we "know", what are we going to do to help others "know?"

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From: Webmaster (
Date: Thu Aug 29 2002 - 16:06:26 EDT

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Good People & People of Faith,

This message (RESEND of last due to bad from and missing subject - Sorry!)
contains info on:

1. The system isn't fair and does not work - we know!
2. Civil Rights for parents - lessons in history.
3. New York - some petitions
4. SPARC - a custody resource site.
5. Action in Syracuse - coming attractions.

1. The system isn't fair and does not work - we know!
A couple of us were talking a few days ago, and you know, we picked up
on a trend!  Some of our most basic human rights are being violated by
the nation's system of family law -- imagine that!  We don't need to
see any more 'science' or 'case law' or 'anecdotes.'  You are
preaching to the choir.  That gave us a few laughs!

Now, please take this with good humor.  But you know what is
really funny.  It appears that a lot of us think that by talking,
and writing, and maybe spending a few minutes to send an email,
or complete an on-line petition -- we are going to change things.
We are going to move history. Imagine that!  

Then, when that doesn't work, some of us turn up the 'volume' and get
mean and get angry and yell. Some take the "ultimate" step in showing
they love their children -- they file a law suit in court!  That will
surely let people know we are serious!?  For others, it just becomes a
burning wound inside that makes everyday of our lives a little darker.
And for some, time heals all wounds, and we learn to forget. We enter
that blessed state of "denial."

If we could just write enough words down, they would surely "know" how
wrongly we have been treated! MAYBE USING ALL CAPS WILL HELP. Of
course many of us still want to enjoy the rest of our lives, and jobs,
and like to keep our anonymity (and maybe use a neat pen name like Ben
Franklin or Aaron Burr, or Caring Mom, or something like that...)
Somehow the anonymity allows us to speak more freely than if we were
identified.  Imagine that!

Take a moment. Think about the past.  Think about the deep South for
almost a hundred years after the Civil War.  Do you think people
didn't "know" that it might not be a fair thing to make black people
use a different toilet, or drink out of a different water fountain, or
ride in the back of the bus? Do you think people didn't "know" that
not allowing someone to vote, just because they were a woman, might not
be the right thing to do?

Most of all, do you think people didn't "know" that forcing people
into rail cars, moving them to concentration camps, and then killing
them in "machines" wasn't such a nice thing?  What do you think you
would have done during Sunday dinner when the SS came by and broke
into your neighbor's home and dragged them and their children away
screaming.  Your good friends, the daughters your kids used to play
with.  What would you have done?  Nothing, and I think each of us
knows the reasons why.

It would have had nothing to do with not "knowing" that what was
happening to your neighbors was terribly, terribly wrong.

IN SOME WAYS THIS IS A BAD ANALOGY for our situations.  But we hope
you begin to see the point.  Admit it, your only human, flesh & blood.
You want politicians to stand up for you, you want lawyers to stand up
for you.  You want the soldiers of the "north" to stand up for you
and set you free.  But why should they do what you are afraid to do?
They are flesh & blood also.

Let your heart grow calm over your situation.  Try to let go of the
anger towards others, and sometimes that's easier to do when you
embrace your own weaknesses.  When you realize there was a lot YOU
could have done: before, during, and after the events that tore you
from your children -- but YOU didn't. You are just flesh & blood.

As a group, AKidsRight.Org, we start our messages with Good People &
People of Faith.  Boy, we really need those People of Faith.  The
people who can act knowing that the ultimate reality is not just flesh
& blood.  The people in the past who put down their knife & fork and
walked outside and said, "No, I say you can't do that to people."

So many people just can't wait to join the Million Parent March in
Washington, or join a bus ready to "fill the jails" with people
proclaiming these "family court orders" violate our most basic civil
rights.  Many people couldn't wait to join the thousands in the

But you know, all those efforts start with one or two people who had
the faith to say, "this is wrong."  It may cost me my job, my freedom,
my family, and my very life, but "this is wrong."  Some did it out of
pure anger and hatred and a desire for revenge.  But the powerful
ones, who did it out of Love and firmly grounded in a real Faith --
changed how other people thought.  More than anything they could have
said, the demonstration of sacrifice helped other people "know" the
wrong that was being done.

Don't get us wrong. The letter writing, the law suits, the petitions
are all valuable efforts, but there is a powerful technique in
personal sacrifice which also sends the message. It is a catalyst.

2. Civil Rights for parents - lessons in history.
We have asked for FEEDBACK on this before and not gotten many
responses.  We'd really like to share your thoughts on what type of
historical precedence exists for us as parents trying to get our
"right" recognized to nurture our own children?  It's a beautiful
essay question:

Compare and contrast the parent's movement for civil rights with
another similar effort from American history. (We'd like to print
the replies in our next message).

We don't know about you, but the answers may be a little scary!
Think about segregation (we hope you won't choose that as your closest
model!)  All black people wanted was to pee in the same bathroom,
drink from the same water fountain, and share seats on a bus.  A lot
of them were killed trying to get just that.  Just to overcome the
bias that was there.

It is frightening to think about how much larger our issue is: being
separated from our very children!  What type of sacrifice is
commensurate with righting that wrong.  How much bias do we need to

3. New York - some petitions
If there is custody reform legislation ending in your state, and you
would like to share the news with others. Please let us know.  It is
also very helpful to supply a link to any site where people can read
the proposed law.

--- From David Friedman <>

Please take 60 seconds to sign and pass along this new, very specific
petition for Shared Parenting in NY. Yes, there are many other
issues. This is part of a highly coordinated effort to enter the new
legislative session with a bang.

10,000 signatures? Heck yes. Once you all sign, get your friends and
families to sign and it gets announced on Howard Stern Sep. 9 at 7am
NY time.

We're not playing anymore.

Spread the word to the folks in Brooklyn. Vote OUT Roger Green on

4. SPARC - a resource site.
We would greatly appreciate it if, in your next email bulletin, you
would mention the SPARC site as a resource for all non-custodial
parents. We provide assistance to help fathers and NCPs at no charge,
and our mission is our motto: "Keeping Families Connected".

SPARC (the Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center) is a
501(c)(3) organization and does not charge for its services. The SPARC
site is located at:

Would you be so kind as to make the folks on your mailing list aware
of the SPARC site and the help it has to offer?

Thank you in advance for your consideration!

"Keeping Families Connected"

5. Action in Syracuse - coming attractions.
As many of you on the list know we continue to encourage folks to make
a trip to Syracuse, NY, and join John Murtari in an effort to get
publicity regarding parental rights and generate a meeting with
Senator Hillary R. Clinton.  For full details please see the web site,
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr, a brief recap follows:

John has a preliminary hearing in Syracuse City Court today, 29 Aug,
as his attorney moves to have the six pending trespass charges against
him dismissed (as they have been about 20 times in the past).  This is
a new Judge, and of course, nothing is a sure thing.

A few days ago John also received notice of his arraignment date in
front of a Federal Magistrate in the Syracuse U.S. District Court
House for the Northern District of New York.  (The web site has a copy
of the notice.)  In two other prior occasions these charges were also
dismissed, but this time may be different. The date is Sept. 18 at
9:30 AM (anyone interested is welcome to attend).

Efforts have been suspended briefly.  John and his mom have travel
plans to fly out west to spend the weekend with this son, Sep 12-16.

The effort will resume on Thursday, Sep 19th.  Your participation and
support is welcome and needed!

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