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[AKidsRight.Org] Your FEEDBACK on Goals & Methods for Reform / Your Letters

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From: Webmaster (webmaster@AKidsRight.Org)
Date: Fri May 21 2004 - 13:34:59 EDT

This is a message from the AKidsRight.Org mailing list.  Unsubscribe instructions at bottom of message.
Good People & People of Faith:

This message contains info on:
1. Your FEEDBACK - Our Mother's Day message.
2. Your FEEDBACK - On Goals & Methods for Reform & EQUAL Parenting.
3. The Mailbag/Your messages - why we take action for reform.
4. The Lighter Side - NonViolent Action & Guiness Book of Records!

As a reminder to all, our list is moderated, but you are welcome to
reply with your thoughts (webmaster@AKidsRight.Org or
contact@AKidsRight.Org).  We try to include as many as we can in
periodic FEEDBACK sections. If you send a message to us you should get
a reply (but please give it about a week!).  When we respond you are
welcome to give us another reply to our comments -- and we give you
the last word.... No one likes the editor having the final say!

Some of the folks below need help, if you have time, please contact
them with your support!  It is always welcome.

We had a lot of FEEDBACK on our last message, please excuse the
length of today's posting -- tried to fit in as much as we could!

1. Your FEEDBACK - Our Mother's Day Message (repeated below)

-- Mary <>

> Thank you so much for your Mother's Day wishes to those of us who
> have not had the luxury of having a free and open contact with our
> children for some time now.
> You pretty much hit on all the scenarios for me...few ever could
> understand, and, even when they understand, they often avoid talking
> to us around these holidays for fear of walking on unsavory ground.
> But being alone in this is sometimes worse than hearing the
> "uneducated" sayings.
> All that said, thank you again for caring for us all.
> All the Best to you,

> Thank you for this very timely and healing reminder.  The holidays
> always, painfully, stand out in contrast to your natural
> expectations and dreams which are now demoralizing in unspoken
> destructive messages.  This parent needed someone to reach into that
> isolation, so, thank you for taking the time, WD

--- Larry <>

> Very well put.
> May it be a blessed day for all the Mothers and children that cannot
> or have not been reunite with loved ones.
> May the future bring justice that it will no longer be only a
> meaningless word. Justice will someday mean Justice and equality
> both Mothers, Fathers and Children.
> Sharing in hope, praying with and for all.

================ Repeat of our Mother's Day Message ================

>From all of us who are members and associated with AKidsRight.Org, our
best wishes for a Happy Mother's Day! A special greeting to those of
you who may not even see your children today. A special greeting to
those of you who may not even have received a card from your little
ones because your former spouse just doesn't care and is blind to your
value as a parent. A special greeting for all those "awkward" moments
this Holiday can bring: "Did your kids send you flowers?", "I got a
beautiful card from my daughter, how about you?", "We are all going
out for dinner tonight, and you?"

A VERY special greeting to those of you who have to deal with family
members & friends who say, "Well, best to accept it, life goes on!",
"I'm sure whatever happened was all for the best...." Please
understand they just don't know. Would you have used those words in
talking to a slave in the 1850's? Would you have used those words in
talking to a black forced to the "back of the bus" in the 1950's? 

Admit it, maybe you would have -- until you learned to understand.
Until you experienced it first hand.


We open the door to reform when we demonstrate the power of our love.
When we stop seeking to be the ONLY parent to our children, but an
EQUAL parent.  If they stick a camera in your face and ask you "why?".
Don't waste your 20 seconds on hate for your former spouse, the social
worker, judges or lawyers.  Tell them about your great love for your
kids -- even better, show them....

That is what NonViolent Action is all about. That with real Faith,
real Love, and real Sacrifice, real miracles can happen -- not just
the stuff you see in "Touched by an Angel" or "Joan of Arcadia".  But
you have to believe, you have to act, and then noble dreams take on
flesh and become reality. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for
love is as strong as death, its passion unyielding as the grave. It
burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot
quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the
wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned." 
-- Song of Songs 8:6-7

2. Your FEEDBACK -  on Goals & Methods for Reform & EQUAL Parenting.
Current NonViolent Action: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr

--- Dr. Malcolm Hatfield, MD <>

> great story, keep up the fight!

--- Dan Huff <>

> Way to go John!!! I need to be more like you. Actually we all do!!   

--- Kathy <>

> It was nice to hear from you.  You have a wonderful website.  It
> would appear that a lot of the problems are created by a failing
> judicial system and the people who work in it.  Especially the
> judges who sit for life and are unaccountable.  Please visit our
> website at

--- Caren <>     "How to treat the opposition?"

> I have been following your emails with interest. Our group called
> Families against court travesties has been picketing monthly at the
> court houses. We are targeting one judge in particular at the
> moment. Our hope is to humiliate him enough in front of the media,
> his peers and the citizens that maybe he will step down. It would
> also send a message to the other judges. We have been contacting
> people who have appeared in front of this judge and documenting his
> revolting orders that have caused one parent to lose custody and
> contact with their child. I will keep you updated to see if we have
> any success..

... Your message came back to mind and I think I was incomplete in my
answer.  You use the word "humiliate" above and I'm not sure if that
is stated as a goal of your action or a consequence of the Judge's
actions?  If he has been a bad Judge, he needs to be off the bench for
those reasons.  Being forced off the bench is
embarrassing/humiliating... (consequences of HIS actions).

If we look at the goals/methods of people like Gandhi & Martin Luther
King -- it was never a goal to humiliate the opposition by their
actions, i.e. carry a picket sign depicting the Judge as a "vampire."
They never forgot we are ALL brothers and sisters and deserving of
courtesy and respect -- even Love....  The Judge is wrong, call him
out on his errors, remove him from the bench -- but how many parents
have been "humiliated" by Judges and Social Workers doing there jobs?
How can it ever be justified as a method of someone seeking to reform
Family Law?

... I agree that we need to call attention to Judges who are abusing power
-- but obviously much of the damage has already been done.  The
discretionary power given Judges and Social Workers is just amazing!

Would it solve a lot of problems to say, you can't interfere in the
parent/child relationship unless you can win a jury conviction of
demonstrate serious harm against the parent?  I know they love to
issue these "temporary" orders like candy that interfere with your
freedoms -- but in that case, shouldn't a "speedy trial" provision be
triggered that says you have 30-60 days to win your case.  The same
thing that happens in Criminal Court when you are not release on Bail
and a basic freedom is being interfered with?  That is some of the
stuff we tried to capture in the Family Rights Act,

--- "Ameenah R." <>   "In Ohio looking for others."

> ... this is what I am talking about, even though I may think of
> some pretty violent methods of retaliation never would I act on them
> I believe people' s worse offense is wanted ignorance. I believe in
> a proactive force that is geared to educate. Recently I passed out
> flyer's for families who were abused and destroyed by CPS to contact
> me for a dinner meeting so that they can become educated as to what
> their rights are. I passed them out at the children service building
> during visitation, at AA meetings, juvenile court, grocery store and
> the library. 

> No one responded after some careful thought and consultation with a
> colleague I came to the understanding that these families are
> scared. A force UN-be-knowing to them had the power to breech their
> scared fortresses and steel away their most precious jewels and they
> have been left without any defenses that can protect them. So I have
> decided to work with groups out side my area hoping to not only help
> them but recruit people to  help me organize action here. If I can
> manage to do that I believe that I can show the people that I want
> to help and there is nothing to be afraid of. 

> I live in North West Ohio 3 hours respectively from Cleveland,
> Columbus and Flint and 45 minutes from Detroit. I have been
> contacted by some bogus groups and only want to work with legitimate
> groups that have a action history. If I can help or if you can help
> me please let me know.

Thanks for the message. Glad to hear you are doing something!  Will
pass your message along on our next list message.

---    "The Family Rights Act"

> I think this act is good but this needs to be recognized nationally
> and not varied state to state.  We are stronger in numbers.  I love
> my son and i,m looking for ways to be more recognized by the courts
> as a good father. They need take the fathers concerns also and not
> to give the moms so much credit and weight in the decisions of the
> children.  Why should she determine how much time my son and I spend
> together.

> This child is the most important aspect of my life.  In most cases
> such as mine the moms use the children as bargaining chips.  i'm
> also paying an enormous amount of support and alimony so she can
> stay home and eat bond bonds all day. It's time to stand up and
> fight fathers.  Show me the way and I'll be there.  Paul L.

Yes, you are quite right.  We are trying to make it a Federal Civil
Rights Act.  Your help is welcome in visiting Members of Congress in
your area, for some details/help see:

--- Carol Imandt <>    "Contact Senator Clinton"

> I sent a letter to Sen. Clinton about 6 months ago whereupon I
> expressed my thoughts of the immorality of the family courts in New
> York and the biasness against fathers - I had no response.  I think
> she selectively pretends not to receive letters. Has anyone had a
> response from Sen. Clinton?

If you have a chance, please send me the text of your letter and we'll
try to include in an upcoming list message.  I think you are right
about being 'selective'.  If they know they don't agree -- they won't
say "NO", but just won't respond to the issue directly and since you
don't have real access, that is the way it goes....  I genuinely think
she is aware of some of the biases and the problems, but feels they
are justified by a "greater good" -- a lot of people think that way?

The effort outside her office is an attempt to really engage her
personally as our representative in a face-to-face meeting with
mothers and fathers hurt by the system.  You know how it is with this
issue, until it happens to you or someone close to you -- it just
doesn't seem like a problem.  We need to make her and the nation at
large realize the tremendous injustice being done and the pain being
inflicted on parents and children.  I welcome your thoughts

---Stefano Genovese <>  "Fight?"

> I agree with what you are saying. Standing down, biting one's lip
> and self-control is good strategy--one aspect of being Christ like,
> to say the least. We must watch our actions, for we are perceived by
> how we act to whatever degree. However, there comes a time when one
> must not let the swine trample over one's pearls. I have either
> apologized so much and ignored so much that I feel being lead down
> the path of condoning particular acts and apologizing for things I
> did not do nor say.
> Unfortunately, not all folks are like Officer X. Some revel in the
> "throwing it (any made-up dirt) into your face" for a good cruel
> laugh.  There is a time for everything under the sun. There is a
> time to throw it back in their faces--if the motive is according to
> ones faith---to. Hatred only begets more hatred.  Suspicion and
> false accusations even more so. Exposure is the tool. A CONSCIENCE
> is another matter.

> Fighting fire with fire--? If the motive is to "expose" those who
> attempt to hurt you and those you love? What is that fire? Innocent
> till proven guilty?  Or is it guilty till proved otherwise,
> remembering we are the fathers. We are the guilty ones in their
> eyes, and they would like to drive that down into our very souls
> destroying our humanity, if they could for no other reason than a
> good cruel laugh--sadly that is what I have observed at times in
> this arena as a father.

> So I hope and pray that they (The SYSTEM) will have a good look into
> the mirror themselves. Then let us all pray they have a conscience.

> Officer X was a rare man with a conscience. He maybe on his way to
> saving his soul.

You bring up a good common sense point in what you say.  If you look
at some of the history we have on NonViolent Action,
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm -- real Faith was an
important part of those efforts.  Everyone has a "conscience", and
hopefully NonViolent Action reminds them of that -- but no guarantee,
and there is sacrifice involved... So many people get frustrated in
the reform effort because their focus is on "controlling/changing the
behavior of other people" -- as you look at the link above, the focus
of NonViolent Action is simply controlling your behavior.  A task
which anyone can do...

> REPLY from Stefano

> Yes,controlling one's behavior is essential. Like any force,
> channeling that force is important. This reform movement is a
> growing tidal-wave of suffering humanity heading for some
> unsuspecting shore.  The results of this reform movement may
> surprise many as to the responsibilities that rights recognized
> creates. With a every civil right enshrined into law comes a bigger
> responsibility upon the individual and society. I believe the term
> is social responsibility.  Even a civic duty is implied.

> Nevertheless, I prefer letting the other poor soul opposing reform
> fall foul for his/her own cause. Our opponents are self-made
> adversaries. I do not oppose anyone individual. Those that stand in
> the way of reform in the family law system will get trampled under.

> I just hope they will see the pain and suffering they have caused
> others keeping it in mind they may well suffer the same fate in
> similar circumstances.

---     "Do I have to have Faith in God?"

> I spend a HUGE amount of my time trying to get parents and kids back
> together.
> I think a key to doing this is to REPEAL THE FEDERAL LAWS CAPTA AND
> ASFA which authorize paying bonuses of $4k or $6k to the state every
> time a child is adopted away from its birth family.  This law sets
> up a financial incentive to destroy families.  As long as these laws
> are in place, the wholesale destruction of families will continue.
> I intend to keep working for their repeal.
> However, my faith is in the people and in the future.  I have no
> faith in God, and I don't see what business that is of anybody but
> me.  Why do I have to discuss that with you?

Yes, I quite agree with your goals.  Money can be a big motivating
factor -- and we are using it the wrong way.  It is an industry.
Regarding Faith in God, you are also right.  It is nobody's business
and it is not required.  It is a personal matter.

The group uses NonViolent Action from the past as a model for reform
now.  http://www.AKIdsRight.Org/civil_back.htm

The efforts of Gandhi and King were successfully, there were a lot of
people of Faith involved in those efforts.  There were also people of
little/no faith in a God that were involved with Gandhi and King and
their followers -- but they could all help each other working toward
the same goal.

--- Chuck Evans <>   "Equal Parenting and the Law"

> I am the individual authoring the Galluzzo, Rosenberger federal
> challenges. I just get tired of individuals asserting there is no
> basis in the law for parental equality.

> I am responding to the individuals that allege equal custody has
> little of no basis in the law and no appreciable benefit for parents
> and children:
> If it is ever recognized that both parents have the inalienable
> right to legal custody of their children, the fact that the parents
> are similarly situated requires equal protection of the time aspects
> of their parent-child relationship, i.e., physical custody. The
> legal underpinnings derive from the equal protection clause of the
> 14th amendment.

> Why the rebuttable presumption of equal parenting is
> constitutionally correct:
> Until the state can prove by an evidentiary standard that is
> constitutionally compliant, i.e., "clear & convincing" evidence,
> upon implication of this bundle of parental rights that one parent
> is not suitable (unable, unwilling, or unfit), then and only then,
> can the state make a legal finding and deprive a parent of their
> custodial right.  Thus the laws must be explicitly written defining
> an express evidentiary standard, as opposed to the arbitrary and
> indefinable "best interests".  It is this key element that is
> missing in all 50 states statutory schemes.

> Once the state has determined that a parent is unsuitable by legal
> definition , only then can the state act in the child's best
> interests.  The supremacy clause under Article IV provide that the
> state must adhere to the superiority of federal law.
> Where there is no legal finding of parental unsuitability, the state
> cannot intervene in each parent's autonomous and reciprocal
> parent-child relationship.

> The presumption of equal custody, both legal and physical, rotating
> or inherent, is ground in federal law.  The presumption that
> similarly situated persons must be treated similarly is the essence
> of the equal protection argument for the state cannot arbitrarily
> classify a suspect class without adherence to constitutional
> principle.

> All individuals that expound on the allegation that equality is
> merely unworkable ignore the fact that the state court arbitrarily
> demands that their arbitrarily-derived local visitation schedule is
> "workable" and legally sufficient.
> Finally, privacy rights and associative rights, under the 9th and
> 1st amendment, exist in each parent's autonomous parent-child
> relationship that require the same scrutiny before that right can be
> denied by the state.
> And as a postscript, one should note that the state provides for the
> intact marriage as an equal partnership, and thus, following along
> property rights and substantive due process precedent, the same
> strict scrutiny and process demanded under the same 14th amendment
> of depriving property rights purchased within the duration of the
> marriage and splitting such rights under many states should be
> applicable to liberty interests, e.g., custody.

--- Daniel Hostedler <>

> I would like to thank you for doing a very good work. By bringing
> light to a very dark and secret society ie. the divorce industry. By
> advocating peaceful protest aimed at exposing injustice in the so
> called "Family Court", "Child Protection Agencies" or whatever other
> disguise this divorce industry wishes to masquerade as at the
> time. By documenting the testimonials of disenfranchised parents and
> pointing the finger at the person responsible you are on the right
> track.
> I would like to offer a few suggestions that might help. First of
> all your message board is filled with spam postings. I think people
> will loose interest if this is to continue.
> We face a common enemy the divorce industry. Under the color of law
> and with the authority of law the divorce industry seeks to destroy
> the family for profit, but it is not law. The very foundation of our
> free society (the family) is under attack.
> Who is the divorce industry? It is difficult to say exactly because
> they operate mostly behind closed doors sometimes even with good
> intentions in "stealth mode". With certainty I can say the judiciary
> play a large part in this movement claiming "judicial immunity" to
> their own law and "judicial discretion" to make rulings that are not
> based on law.Your own proposed "Family Rights Act" has examples of
> Bill of Rights issues that are already ignored. It is for this
> reason I believe even if the "Family Rights Act" is passed little
> will change.
> The divorce industry is also made up of Family Protective Services,
> lawyers, mediators, police, teachers and ex-spouses all demanding we
> (innocent civilians) pay them money for a service, allegedly "in the
> best interest of the child". We are being drawn into a system of
> private law, told that it is mandatory. It is not mandatory, it is
> not law, and it is certainly not in the child's best interest. In
> fact it is socialism.
> What can be done? I don't see a new law making a difference. Judges
> already ignore the law. If you would like I would be glad to call or
> email you. I think you have many good ideas. Peaceful protest, post
> examples of atrocities on your website, try to bring your camera to
> court, when the bailiff stops you film him telling you cameras
> aren't allowed. The same with mediation or court ordered
> psychologist test. Shine a light for all to see, most of these
> cockroaches will scatter, those that stay will be stomped on. Above
> all focus on the Judges (many times they are not even real duly
> elected judges believe it or not).

Yes, there is quite a divorce industry.  We also don't need more
"regulation and laws" -- but I think the focus of the Family Rights
Act, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/act.htm is to put a barrier between
government and family interference using the protection of a jury.
Would welcome any improvements/feedback?

3. The Mailbag/Your messages - why we take action for reform.

--- Angela Spoljaric <>     "Child Support?"

> My husband just got his wages garnished from the state of Michigan
> for $720.00 a check for back child support, for his two oldest kids,
> which the oldest one is not really his, and he also had his wages
> garnished in the amount of $400.00 for back child support and
> monthly child support for his middle daughter. Plus a child support
> agency from the state of Texas has also garnished his wages for the
> amount of $86.67 for monthly child support.  Which the State of
> Michigan and the private child support agency is taking the money
> double the money and the order is only for $174 monthly. 

> That leaves us with approximately $300 a check and we get paid twice
> monthly to live on and support the family he has now with a car
> payment and house payment and their is not any possible way the we
> can actually live on that.  Do you know of any agency we can turn to
> or any advice for us.
> Thank you so much, Angel 

I'm sorry to hear about all the problems you're having. Unfortunately,
it sounds all too familiar. I hate to tell you this, but fathers have
very few avenues for recourse when they have been wronged by the court
system. The assumption is that all father's are dead-beats at heart
and home-wreckers in practice. You and I know this isn't true, but
we've got our work cut out for us trying to convince the rest of the
country. Prejudice and bias are alive and well in the good ol' USA.


---         "Child Protective Services?"

> I just received a letter stating that I have been put on the child
> abuse index from more false allegations from my ex.  There has never
> been any hearings, charges etc. filed.  I have been involved in a
> bitter child custody dispute for five years and my ex will do
> anything to stop me from seeing my kids. Child protective services
> chose not to investigate her latest false accusation that I pinched
> our daughter.  She decided to take it a step further and took her
> down to the police station where she was told to undress for the
> detective who didn't even notice any type of pinch mark but based on
> her statements made to him he chose to put my name on this index,
> absurd, and disgusting.  We went to court over this the Judge didn't
> buy her story and there was no change in custody.

> Now I am afraid another allegation will be made and once again we
> will go to court but this time I will be labeled as a child abuser
> and the outcome will not be favorable.  Unfortunately can already
> see her next step in her agenda to stop me from seeing my
> children. This is a travesty and a clear violation of my civil
> rights.  With this label I will now probably never see my kids
> again.  What has happened to California when the government has the
> power to take away loving parents from seeing their children?  We
> have recalled a Governor, the system that really needs to be looked
> at is the corruption in Family Court Services.  The atrocities that
> take place there are atrocious.  I have had every allegation in the
> book thrown at me, arrested twice for false accusations, all because
> my wife wanted a divorce.
> I have been approached by several people to write a book on what has
> happened to me from what should have been a simple divorce.  Any
> help or people to call would be greatly appreciated, I want my
> innocent name off this index.  I feel like we are reliving the
> Senator McCarthy era.  Sometimes you have to ask is it all worth it,
> of course it is, these are your kids too.  I would love just to be a
> parent without all the turmoil, will never happen with a vindictive
> wife and a corrupt system that rewards people for making false
> allegations.

VERY sorry to hear about what is happening and it is unbelievable.
Unfortunately, the worst can happen because you don't have any
recognized and protected right to be a parent to your own child.

I encourage you to keep the Faith and don't fight "fire with fire."
Keep working to see your daughter every second you can and to be an
equal parent. Besides the book, you are welcome to post your story at
our Hall of Shame page if you desire,

--- joe bugliarelli <>        "It's a disgrace"

> thank you for your efforts however we as fathers of children have
> very little rights whatsoever. we are the doomed. our lives will be
> filled with sadness and memories. we will not see our children grow
> and we will never be the same. our legal system is a disgrace. this
> is America.

I wish I could disagree with you, but you're right on with each point
you made below. I honestly feel that the divorce industry is the
modern day equivalent of slavery and the holocaust combined. Some day,
people will look back on this chapter in history and shake their heads
in disbelief.  Kevin

4. The Lighter Side - NonViolent Action & Guiness Book of Records!

--- "marilyn trevino" <>

> God job Johnnie, go to the head of the class!
> Aye, Guiness Book of Records in England has kept a file on I, and
> only I, since 1987, regarding my possible record of "unprosecuted"
> (false) arrests.  36 my first year protesting, none previous,
> starting with my arrest on the Klamath County Courthouse Lawn,
> (front page Herald and News, Jan. 1987 "for stealing a non-support
> sign" from the DA's).
> Please join me sir Murtari, so far, Guiness has received no
> challengers.  Currently my false arrests top 100.  My neighbor, also
> John, has 46, four misdemeanor convictions.
> Love to hear from ya, course.
> GUINESS WORLD RECORDS How to be a record breaker

webmaster@AKidsRight.Org             "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" 
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