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Meeting Senator Clinton - why the effort is Good!

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From: John Murtari (
Date: Sun Aug 15 2004 - 17:05:03 EDT

Good People & People of Faith,

I want to apologize for sending out another message.  You would have
thought the last message was long enough!  But as I reviewed it myself
I realized "I had missed seeing the forest for all the trees!"  I
didn't talk at all about the really important stuff...  I don't want
to repeat here, if you lost the other message it's at:


For those of you who have been on the list for a while, you've heard
this before.  But perhaps many of you will find something new here.

It feels good!
I'll share a little secret with you.  Not those of you who have
adjusted to losing your children (or perhaps have them back again) --
but to those of you who still ache and burn.  For whom the memories of
what happened and the injustice can still all flood back on the
slightest trigger.  Who can stillchoke up or flush with anger when you
see another 'normal' parent and child together.  Who still grieve at
the lost years and what might have been...but never will be....

Taking serious physical action, NonViolent Action, feels good.  When I
stood up in Family Court and talked about the GREAT love I had for my
child -- they laughed and poo-hooed (love does not matter here!). We
will decide "what is in the best interest of your child."

When I walk into that Federal Building to assert my most fundamental
human right has been violated.  I'm here because I love my child and
you can go ahead and throw me in jail (but you have no power to
control my behavior).  Because I will be back.  I love my child.

My heart has grown calm because I'm taking physical action that
matches the BIG words.  You want me to believe your GREAT right to
parent your children is the MOST important thing in the world -- show
me everything else you have does not matter. You want yourself to
believe your GREAT right to parent your children is the MOST important
thing in the world -- show yourself everything else does not matter.

There are few greater and deeper joys than the fulfillment of
duty. When we fulfill that duty to our kids, you will notice a whole
change in attitude - I did my part.  I am giving it my all.  It feels
good!   That steady ache is gone...I'm doing something now.

It's not easy going back to the building.
That is so true. It is also not easy going to college.  Is is not easy
going through basic military training.  It is not easy going to the
dentist to get your teeth drilled or having open heart surgery!  But
we do all these things  because they are necessary or help us achieve
greater goals.

At times I present the worst case scenario (maybe we don't get a
meeting with the Senator), but in all honesty I am very confident that
meeting will happen and that it will be a substantive meeting (because
we called it).  The Senator is going to have a chance to sit down with
a small group of moms and dads who have lost their "right" to parent
through divorce, separation, or social services action.

Hopefully she will be more sensitive to the issue then we all have
been in the past.  Do you understand that?  How many of us were
concerned about family rights before we lost our child to a former
spouse or to a social worker?  How many of us heard the stories or had
friends that went through it, but thought, "doesn't apply to me!"

Almost all of us are living examples of people that had to get hit by
the disaster first.  Well, the Senator and her husband have a grown
daughter.  They didn't get to experience it first hand.  Let's hope
they are more sensitive than we have proven to be on this issue...

Will she agree/disagree.  I don't know.  But we will get her public
position on the issue of Family Rights and how they need to be
protected. Meetings with her will put Family Law Reform on the
National agenda.  It will also open the door to other Federal
legislators -- who would be able to say no then?

Act to meet the Senator - who will help 'bake the bread'?
We are doing some database work on the web site to improve our
registration information.  Pretty soon we will be asking folks who
would like to tell their story to the Senator and the public (we will
tape the meeting for Internet download).  In 5 minutes -- what would
you say?  About the problem?  About the solution?

The funny thing is, when we get that meeting, a lot of people are
going to be upset because they won't be asked to attend. Certainly the
'short list' of people have to be those who helped in the effort by
words of support, writing, and calling.  Well, you can just about
write your ticket now -- join me at the Federal Building in the
spirit of NonViolent Action.  If you think you might, please review
the checklist at http://www.AKidsRight.Org/checklist.htm

Right now the stakes are pretty high for me because of what has
happened. For most of you a single arrest will probably be dismissed
(and the more of us there are, the more certain that is to happen).
But you have to be ready for the worst case scenario:

Sitting handcuffed in a small room with several Federal Officers who
are going to tell you your actions could result in a year in jail, a
Federal or State criminal record that will stay with you a lifetime,
effect your job, and of course they can submit a report to your local
Family Judge or Social services about your bizarre behavior -- and
THAT IS NOT GOING TO HELP YOUR KIDS! Just be a reasonable person and
go home.

Do you still think you have a GREAT right to parent your children?

Faith in a God that loves us, even more than we love our kids
Of course, many of us want to believe this.  Again, when our physical
actions match our words -- there is a sense of accomplishment.  I've
talked to Dom a lot about a loving God, but my actions speak louder
than words.

Will there be some 'painful' events as this effort continues -
probably. Is something 'bad' going to happen as a result of this
effort.  It is inconceivable.

Best regards! 

                                      John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/

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