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[AKidsRight.Org] Protecting our GREAT right - what about sacrifice? / Your FEEDBACK

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From: John Murtari (
Date: Tue Dec 07 2004 - 09:54:30 EST

Good People and People of Faith,

This message contains info on:
1. Protecting a GREAT right - some sacrifice required?
2. Public Relations Report - Batman works for parents!
3. Your FEEDBACK - Obession with Jail? 

I recently spent about 6 weeks in a County Jail.  A message about
'The Gerbil Cage' (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/archive/archive2004/0044.html) 
stirred some responses from you on the whole issue of personal
sacrifice?  Some of that FEEDBACK is shared below, but what do you

If you are on a few mailing lists you can see some people calling for
'revolution' to protect our rights!  You can sometimes get the
picture that these 'loving parents' want to get a gun and kill
someone for their 'cause' -- just like the terrorists we all know!

It turns my stomach when I read that stuff, it is so pathetic and
foolish -- suppose I'm a member of the general public living at home
with my family.  I've never experienced divorce or a false child
abuse allegation. I don't care what you 'tell' me, who knows if it is
true?  But if you 'show' me you really love your children by your
actions -- you will get my support!  I know what my kids mean to me.

Some questions were asked in the FEEDBACK below, but no replies have
come in from the original folks -- what would you say?

1. Protecting a GREAT right - some sacrifice required?


> This is very typical.  Unfortunately, there is nothing unusual
> about this case.
> What we need to do is to educate the community about these police
> tactics so that our families are not subject to it.  If we don't
> educate the community about the issues we will have a never-ending
> battle.

I guess I will put my two cents in on this. I know several of you and
am familiar with some of the cases. It is a disgrace what is
happening to these parents and I admire those of you take a LOT of
your time to help.  But you are very, very mistaken if you think
education and talk ALONE is EVER going to stop these kind of things
from happening.

These people have had their most basic Human Rights violated,
stripped of being parents to their very own children by an unjust
process.  It is a right as GREAT as our freedom of speech, religion,
and our very liberty as people. As GREAT as the right of a black
person to sit in the "front" of a bus.

Please check your history, let me know of any GREAT right that was
won by the power of 'words' alone.  Tremendous sacrifice was also
required, physical action.  Think of the Blacks that went back to
homes burned down by the Klan after they had participated in a
peaceful Civil Rights march.

We are NOT talking about violence here, but you need to 'sacrifice'.
As long as we talk and educate and advocate, but still want to go
home to our comfortable beds at night -- what does that say about our
GREAT right?

There is an approach called 'NonViolent Action', a method practice by
Gandhi and Martin Luther King -- maybe it is something to think
about.  http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm

2. Public Relations Report - Batman works for parents!

--- "Zorro" <>, benoit Leroux <>

> A public relation web site shows the high media coverage return
> from high profile action. Take a look at this (it worth $3000/year
> from professional to get this kind of report
> Don't miss the graph going with it

3. Your FEEDBACK - Obession with Jail?

---- Bruce Bayer <>

> Hello my name is Bruce Bayer I am the Chairman of Heads Held High
> Inc. We are a Family Rights Organization. I do not understand this
> obsession with getting arrested. We take on the state and county
> everyday; we win some, we lose some but none of our members have
> ever been arrested. We have had a County Judge removed from office
> and held many protest marches still without arrest. Please explain
> why you feel that arrest is the only avenue to success. We desire a
> open communication with you as we believe our goals are
> simular. Please do not view this as an attack but a plea to
> understand your position better. We can be reached at

---- Anon <>

> You guys there has to be another way to do this how about we all
> organize a demonstration with permits, in DC In front of the
> Capital it will be peaceful we can contact the news media whew can
> try to change legislation. Maybe something like the million man
> march or the womens marc How bout the non costodial parents march
> we caould rally support form the other groups an damke a real show
> of it raise awareness that perfectly good parents are being shut
> out for no good reason just being poor or silly reasons really.This
> jail stuff is a high price to pay we certainly are not doing are
> kids any good in jail. Yes, the system needs an over hall and I
> feel terrible about this jailing stuff. If someone tells you to
> leave there office if you do not have an appointment
> leave. Harassment is not a good answer. Do you remember the civil
> rights movement? three were laws in place and riots. Lets get
> together and discuss positive ways to do the best for our kids.
> Bonnie

Yes, many people say the samething and I really wish it would happen
(it would be a lot easier!).  Such events have been planned for
Washington the last few years and I have usually gone -- but turnout
has been very poor (and actually dropping).  There are many reasons
and I think it will improve with time -- especially once people think
that going down to DC will actually matter!

Bonnie, the big historical question is this.  If you think the
ability to raise and nurture your own children is a GREAT Civil Right
(which I certainly do as do many) -- show me an example in history
where such a GREAT right was achieved without real personal
sacrifice?  Simple freedom from slavery, freedom of speech,

Your question made me think.  We are trying to convert how people
think about parents. It may take more than just talk.  You see if a
parent tells me on the phone how abused they were by the system and
how much they love their kids -- it is JUST talk.  Unless I was
there, I don't really know if any of it is true - BUT, if I see that
parent involved in voluntary and loving personal sacrifice for the
sake of their kids -- I will be more likely to believe them.

It certainly worked in breaking segregation in the deep South.
Wathching stupid-ignorant-primative blacks peacefully go to jail,
demonstating the Faith they deserved to be treated equally -- made a
lot of whites change their attitudes and the way they thought.

Your thoughts?  Maybe it will work in changing the attitude people
have toward thoughtless-cruel-unloving parents!

---- Sunil Rajan <>

> I deeply regret all the pain and suffering you've had to go through
> in your fight for Equal Parenting Rights, including your stint in
> jail.  You have shown us all a courage that many of us do not
> possess (myself included) and a true willingness to pay the price
> for what WE believe is true and just, yet the Government disagrees
> with.

> Due to a job offer that was too good to pass up in L.A. (I live in
> NYC, as does my daughter); I had to strike a deal with my daughters
> mother where I was allowed to see my daughter on my day off.  After
> finishing a 4 show weekend (2 Sat., 2 Sun) I would go to the
> airport and take the redeye back to NYC.  I would arrive around
> 9:30EST, and my wife would drive me home for a few hours to take a
> nap or have something to eat.  Then I would take the subway
> downtown to pick up my daughter and spend about 4 hours with her
> doing whatever she wanted (movies, dinner, games, etc.) and have to
> take her home before bed.  Spend a few hours with my wife, sleep,
> then take an early flight back to L.A. on Tuesday in time for work
> that night!  I kept up this schedule for about 4 weeks, before the
> strain took it's toll and I had to miss out on seeing her last
> week.  Of course, her mother regards this as a serious lack of
> "trying" on my part (12 hours on a plane in a 36 hour timespan and
> flying across the country is a "lack of trying"?), and reverted
> back to her attitude that I am simply working in California to have
> "fun" and travel.  Simple matter of fact, is that I took the job in
> order to pay off my child support arrears, which I have
> successfully done (!!), so that she cannot hold that over my head
> any longer.  The NYSCU has acknowledged that my obligation has been
> fulfilled and has ceased restraining my bank accounts and
> paychecks!

> Through this all, I discovered that my daughters mother has been
> slandering me to her friends (we have many mutual acquaintances),
> and I have been called "The Deadbeat Dad" because I haven't been in
> NYC constantly.  Regardless of the fact that even if I WAS in NY, I
> would still only be allowed to see my daughter for a few hours each
> week (and her mother thinks that THAT is excessive)!  I was in a
> very bad place a few months ago, to the extent that I would have
> looked FORWARD to being arrested and put in jail for the right to
> see my daughter!  

> Luckily, I overcame that, and am working my out of the hole that
> the government agencies dug for me and tossed me into.  Just wanted
> to relay my story, and thank you for your unwavering fight for
> parental rights, for those of us who WANT to see our children, at
> any cost!  Thank you,

                                       John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/
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