[AKidsRight.Org] Father's Day/ If a parent cries alone - does it make a sound?

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From: John Murtari (jmurtari@AKidsRight.org)
Date: Sun Jun 17 2007 - 18:54:17 EDT

Good People & People of Faith,

This message contains:
1. A Father's Day Greeting
2. If a parent cries alone in the woods - does it make a sound?

1. A Father's Day Greeting
Best Wishes to all you Dads -- especially those who haven't seen their
kids this weekend.  And MOST especially to you who have "grown"
children who don't want to see you ... as a result of the system.
What a tragedy!

Most 'other' people don't care.  It happens, get over it!  After all,
men don't miss their kids?!  They aren't that emotional about it!?
It's no big deal?!

There was also a time when good people thought segregation was the way
it was suppose to be -- that Blacks and Whites were different.  That
changed, and now the time has come for all parents to be recognized as

In the midst the pain we have, may we always anticipate a "change of
heart" within our former partner and ourselves that will allow us both
to participate in the lives of our children.

* To get rid of the crutch, "they'll never change."
* To remove the excuse, "it was ALL there fault."
* To stop nursing on, "I was the victim."

No, we don't expect you to fall madly in love again, but:

* To remember, "they are a good person."
* To acknowledge, "they are my child's ONLY other parent."
* To hope, "they will forgive me for what I did."
* To forgive.

2. If a parent cries alone in the woods - does it make a sound?
Especially on Father's Day, I thought this should be a 'manly'
message. When men ask me why we aren't making more progress, what can
I do but laugh.  We are not ready yet... we don't believe.

Sharing vs. Equality
I find the new 'touchy feely' men like to say they want 'shared'
parenting.  What a nurturing and thoughtful bunch.  Can we stop saying
that?  If I give you a bite, I have 'shared' my apple with you.  I
know what I want - EQUALITY. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/approach.htm

Suffering vs. Sacrifice
I talked about NonViolent Action, that loving personal sacrifice can
be effective: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil.htm

Another 'man' told me, "Oh yeah, I have sacrificed plenty, the system
has put me through h$ll!  I've had to give up a lot of time to try to
see my kids, sacrificed my job and more money!"

I tried to draw a distinction between 'sacrifice' and 'suffering'.
Many of us have been forced to 'suffer', sacrifice is something we do
voluntarily.  We give, they don't take. Christ was not dragged kicking
& screaming to the cross?

"Wait a minute, what about what I give up for my kids?"

"Your a man, their father.  It's our duty as parents -- you want a
medal for that?  Now, you give up something to help someone else's

Revolution vs. Conversion
Most of you have seen the 'junk' that some 'men' will talk about.
That the system is foul, it is tyranny, it must be overthrown!  Hurray
for 1776 and another revolution!  Recently had the chance to meet a
few of these 'revolutionaries' in person, so I asked them, "Okay, so
how do you see reform happening, you gonna start shooting people?"

"No, no, I'm not violent, I didn't mean that"

"Well, wait a minute, you were just talking about war and oppression,
taxation without representation, the American revolution, is what you
said -- doesn't that mean shooting?"

"Well, maybe...."

"Isn't our goal just to change the way these people think.  To prove
they are wrong about us?  You want to kill them?  I've got some people
you should meet in the Middle East, they are called terrorists."

What's more important?
I talked to some other 'men' who were attempting to change laws in New
York.  How about trying a peaceful sit-in within the offices of
Gov. Spitzer to get him to pay attention to reform?

"Well, I don't know about that, I would get a criminal record wouldn't
I...  not so sure..."

"I have a pistol permit and have weapons at home.  If I do something
like that I might lose the pleasure of my hobby...."

"Wow, I could lose my job, maybe they wouldn't let me vote...."

To a person, earlier, I had heard every one of them talk about how
their GREAT RIGHT to be a parent had been violated.  That they would
do anything for their kids.....yeah Tarzan!

If it works!
A few days ago I was talking to someone very active in the reform
effort. They said something that really made me think, something I had
taken for granted, but they had no concept of?

"John, when you were doing your 'hunger-strike' what if the media had
not paid attention and no one had noticed.  Of course, you would have
stopped.  No need to damage your health when nobody cares?....."

If a parent cries alone in the woods - do they make a sound?  What do
you think?  Lose your job, lose your weapon, lose your vote -- and
nobody noticed!!!????  What a shame, we ought to avoid that.

Sacrifice ALWAYS has effect.
Now, this is where Faith comes in for those of us who 'believe' in
God.  And, I dare say, even the Stoic Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius
might agree, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm

Many of us are Christians.  Was it necessary to have spectators at

The Divine knows of the parent crying in the woods.  The Divine is
able to act within time, to change what could be.  And if our
scriptural history means anything, it certainly shows the Divine is
attuned to suffering and especially our sacrifices.  The leaps of
Faith we make that change who we are.  Nature abhors a vacuum.

Father's Day manly advice - believe in yourself, your value, the power
of your love & just do it!

                                       John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/
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