Meet Mr. Oaks on Family Rights (Feb 17)/ What's NOPE & Your FEEDBACK

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From: John Murtari (
Date: Fri Feb 12 2010 - 10:47:26 EST

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Good People & People of Faith,

This message has info on:

1. Meet NY Assemblyman Oaks in person - Feb 17 (newspaper story)
2. New parent's group - NOPE
3. Your FEEDBACK - To chalk or not to chalk, that's the question?
4. Your FEEDBACK - on reform in general.

1. Meet NY Assemblyman Oaks in person - Feb 17 (newspaper story)
I'm happy to say we are making some progress: My two weeks in jail,
your calls and letters, and a nice front page story in a local paper
have helped sensitize Mr. Oaks to Family Rights.

Now, I encourage you to join me at a face-to-face meeting to occur
with the Assemblyman on Feb 17th, 1:30 PM, at the Town Hall,
43 Phelps St, Lyons, NY (click below for map),+lyons,+ny&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=43+Phelps+St,+Lyons,+Wayne,+New+York+14489&gl=us&ei=I1h0S4XmA9Gm8AakqsnHCg&ved=0CAgQ8gEwAA&ll=43.068543,-76.988711&spn=0.052858,0.065575&z=14

If you think you can make it, please let me know and I can give you
more details (jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org/315-944-0999,x-211).  We'll plan
on having lunch together at about 12 at a local diner so people can
get to know each other.  It would be great to meet some of you in

This is our chance as parents to really make an impact. Please
consider taking a little time off and making the drive up here. It's
only 5-6 hours from New York City, Boston, Cleveland and Pittsburgh.

For more background, along with links to legal papers filed regarding
"Kid's Chalk", please go to:

2. New parent's group - NOPE
[ I received this announcement from Ray a few days ago and wanted to
help with distribution.  There are many 'groups' out there.  Your
FEEDBACK is welcome on what should be the goals & methods for
reform. ]

Submitted by: "Ray Lautenschlager" <>

We would like to introduce ourselves; we are the National Organization
for Parental Equality (NOPE) and have
recently absorbed Parents And Children for Equality (PACE) . NOPE was brainstorm of Michael Galluzzo
and Chuck Evan in October 2007.  NOPE began as a small group of
dedicated parents attempting to bring about change through the courts.
During the last week of January of 2010 a new era began in parental
rights in this nation when PACE was merged into NOPE.  The actions for
family law reform in the courts will continue; but we are also focused
on public knowledge and legislative actions.

Among our leadership is:

MICHAEL GALLUZZO (President/co-founder) - Michael was one of the first
to bring an original action in the federal court system that
challenged Ohio custody statues and the methods by which the courts
deprive fit parents of their children.  Michael hails from Champaign
County, Ohio and is a father that recognizes the importance of equal
parental rights for all fit parents...

CHUCK EVANS (Co-founder) - Chuck was the first to challenge the
custody scheme of Ohio and took his case all the way to the Untied
States Supreme Court years ago. With a knack for the legal issues that
face separated parents, Chuck has done a great deal of the work on the
Galluzzo Case, his own challenges to Ohio's custody scheme and has
collaborated on needed changes that are currently being proposed to
Ohio's Custody law to make it Constitutionally complaint...

RAY LAUTENSCHLAGER - Ray is a long time Director with PACE in Akron,
that has served without waver. He has been the webmaster for the group
for nearly nine years and was one of the main writers on the equal
custody legislation that was introduced by Rep. Ron Young in 2003. Ray
has seen the good and bad of the system having started out with equal
legal and physical custody of his son which he held for ten years
before the courts inappropriately terminated his parental rights.

Ray helped put together two parental right rallies on the steps of the
Ohio Statehouse and continues to fight for the equal rights of all fit
parents despite the fact that his son is now emancipated...

DENNIS CARON - A longtime member of PACE and NOPE, Dennis fought the
Franklin County courts against child support orders for a child that
was not his.  The courts finally relented and Dennis pushed
legislation to help non-biological parents to stop paying support for
children they did not father.  Dennis is still an active contributor
and sounding board for those active in the struggle for equal rights.

As you can clearly see we started with an impressive team of fighters;
fathers who have been on the cutting edge of this movement for
years. These men have more often than not been working quietly in the
background with little recognition for their efforts. They are not
alone and have input from others throughout the country.  The one
thing that has remain constant has been their unwavering desire to get
the laws changed and go home to be with their families and live in
peace and quiet.

How is this going to be achieved with in a reasonable amount of time?
Our goal is a simple but one that has proven affective in all of our
efforts so far. Join as many together under one voice and under one
National Banner.

This does not mean that individual group should or are expected to
lose their respective identities. That is not our goal. Our goal is to
make available the combined voices and knowledge of every group,
mothers, fathers, grandparents and children into a single organization
where they can join with a unified voice in speaking to the
legislators in every state of the nation. Our goal is to make each
group known to everyone out there that is seeking help. Our goal is to
share with you the information that we have so that you are not
re-inventing the wheel out of the box.

In the near future, we will be accepting applications for individual
chapters in areas that we do not presently cover. That will be a simple
application and a simple process once chapters are approved for addition.
Watch the site for more information as it becomes available.

If you are a group that is presently in existence, add your
information to our advocates map so that anyone that visits our site
can see whom to contact in their area. You just may help someone that
is lost in the shuffle of the family court nightmare that will be able
to pay that forward for some one else some day. The only thing we ask
is that you return the favor by putting a link and a NOPE banner of
your site. A page with be added to our site shortly where banners of
all sizes can be down loaded for use.

So often we get a call or an email from someone that is telling us
about finding something that we have known about for years. That is
why we have one of the larger collections of information available on
the internet and that collection is growing daily. The PACE site was a
simple site when Ray took over ten years a go and it has grown to one
of the larger sites on the internet with a total of nearly 300 pages
of information and more coming as fast as his fingers can add it.  We
have done everything possible to make this information available for
all to see including every filing in the Galluzzo federal case and two
more major cases that are presently happening in Ohio.

What is it going to take to make this work - the nasty "M" word-
MONEY!  With litigation that is presently being funded by individuals
that have sacrificed everything to try to help all, we hope you will
stepping up to help fund their work. The costs of printing and filing
fees can bleed a person to death. We funded much of our work privately
but please help us to continue. We have a Chip-in on our front page to
show our progress in funding our current court battles.

So why not join us in our efforts to make this work for all fit
mothers, fathers, grandparents and children? We must work together so
that they may have the justice that they deserve and we together will
put an end to the tyranny of the family court system.  Sincerely,

The Leadership of NOPE <> 

3. Your FEEDBACK - To chalk or not to chalk, that's the question?
Before getting into the FEEDBACK, just a quick procedure summary for
those new on the mailing list.  If you send in a reply to a list
message you should get a response.  I want to again thank Ray
Lautenschlager <> for taking care of email while I
was 'tied up'. I caught up with some recent if you sent
something in and didn't get a response, please write again.

Especially when their may be disagreement, I encourage you to
follow-up to our reply.  We try to give you the last word in the

In the FEEDBACK below you'll see a few critical comments along with my
reply.  I didn't get any response from the individuals.  I'm sure some
of you may share their opinions.  I welcome your thoughts on some of
my questions.


> just a thought...what if....  all of us started chalking?  I have
> been tempted

Yes, I'm sure it is something that could become trendy.  Just like the
"Freedom Riders" against segregation -- but its got to start with a
few people first.  Risky business.

--- Mark Deegan <>

> Your the man...

--- David Katz <>

> this is all about YOU, and not anyone else. many of "us" on your
> mailing list feel that you are on an ego trip. get real

...I think you know I support the Declaration of Family Rights,

I'd like to hear your scenario about how something that powerful
becomes law? How do you see it happening?

(no reply)

---  Mike Kosak <>

> God Bless You John!!!!  I wish I could do some thing to help you
> beside words of encouragement You are braver than I could ever be

--- Shawn Monahan <>

> I have remained mostly silent about your escapades thus far,
> figuring the old phrase "To each their own" applied in your
> situation... But honestly, you don't seem intent on doing much more
> than making a public nuisance and spectacle of yourself and for
> others whom resort to less destructive and childish means to get
> their message in the public eye. You have resorted to extremely
> bizarre and illegal methods to get your face in the media and
> frankly, I think you do serious harm to those whom are seriously
> trying to get change brought forward in our fight.
> You deserve to go to jail when you do illegal and stupid
> things. Jail is not a good place, it's not supposed to be... so why
> don't you put up or shut up and quit complaining about your plight
> when you have caused it. 

Thanks for taking the time to write and the frank thoughts
on how useful this type of activity is. The whole point of NonViolent
Action is a willingness to sacrifice for what you believe in.  The
potential for arrest/jail is part of that.  We all don't need to do
that, but without some people who are willing to step up -- I really
don't see any significant reform happening.

I think you know I support the Declaration of Family Rights,

You mention those "seriously trying" to get change to happen.  Could
you be more specific on those groups and their goals. I'd like to hear
your scenario about how something that powerful becomes law? How do
you see it happening?

(no reply)

--- chuck kristianson <>

> Hope by the time you get this e-mail you will be out and
> about. Thanks for all you do for us and our children.

--- Stuart <>

> John-Keep up the fight and keep the media informed.  Cheers-
> Stuart Showalter, Exec. Dir. 
> Indiana Custodial Rights Advocates 

--- Paul <>

> Let me begin by saying I admire your tenacity and willingness to
> sacrifice for the cause. I have a suggestion, which shouldn't be
> taken as demeaning your activities to date. Just a suggestion.

> Instead of chalking a bland, general message on the building, why
> not print a fact or two on posterboard, and simply LEAN it against
> the building at the staff or public entrance.

> For example: "80% of convicted felons come from fatherless homes." 
> There are enough of this type of statistic to provide ammunition for
> months.  No charges of defacing public property, no jail time.

Thanks for the suggestion and it may be worth a try at some point in
the future.  Maybe some other people will find the idea interesting.

The whole point of NonViolent Action is a willingness to sacrifice for
what you believe in.  The potential for arrest/jail is part of that.
We all don't need to do that, but without some people who are willing
to step up -- I really don't see any significant reform happening....

I know you have been involved in reform for a while.  I'd like to hear
your scenario about how something that powerful becomes law?  How do
you see it happening?

--- Ron <>

> I am so sorry to hear that you are in jail. I went on your website
> for the first time. You have done an excellent job documenting your
> case. Your efforts are not in vain you are providing a framework and
> an example of peaceful non-violent resistance. I couldn't help but
> wonder about your ex-wife. What kind of parent/wife would allow the
> father of her children to suffer such abuses. Unfortunately our
> society values money over parenting. I hope your release will be
> soon and forth coming. It truly seems like a waste of taxpayers
> money to keep your in jail. I hope to hear from you soon. Keep the
> faith.

---  lih music <>

> It DOES take a lot of courage to stand for what's right when there's
> so much political pressure to leave things as they are.  Thanks for
> all you're doing.  I know it's wrong.  There are many things wrong
> in the juvenile courts in Oklahoma.  There's at least one of the
> Oklahoma Statutes that needs to be changed.  The statute says that
> nobody can touch the private parts of a child under sixteen.  

> As the statute is now, the child's parents, private physician,
> caregiver or anyone can be charged with sexual abuse of a child if
> they even change the child's underwear or give him/her a bath.  My
> Oklahoma Senator, Senator Andy Coates, is in the process of adding
> the words 'in a sexual manner' to the statute so that parents and
> caregivers can at least change the child's underwear or examine
> him/her for injuries, etc.

Many of these laws go to far to make it easy for prosecutors to get a
conviction -- they allow you to convict without proving any 'intent'.
It's surprising a law like that was passed, but of course, the excuse,
"they were just thinking of the best interest of the children."

--- Sean <>

> I have paid close attention to your efforts for quite some time and
> have silently admired what you have been doing. I have learned again
> that you have been recently arrested and I am forced to reflect on
> my own personal parental rights battle that has been going on for
> the better part of close to 10 years. Most of which, I regret to say
> has not be all that fruitful. Other than getting people to
> acknowledge that there is a problem and hearing their words of
> support, I have really not seen any progress in changing my
> situation .

> John, I feel a great deal of sadness when I hear that you have been
> arrested again. For a person that I do not even know, this is a
> little peculiar. Then again, I know why you are doing this and the
> suffering that led you to this path. I think what saddens me the
> most is the fact that people truly do not care about you or what you
> stand for. The fact of the matter is that many of these people who
> are part of this problem would probably rejoice if you were to
> suddenly die. I know that this is the case for me. This fact alone
> speaks volumes about our society and the loss of morals and ethics
> that is prevalent today.

> During the course of trying to ensure my parental rights, I have
> gone through the whole gauntlet of all the dirty tricks that are
> implemented. I have been slandered, arrested, isolated, harassed,
> intimidated, and have seen people who were pretending to be
> advocates that were actually working behind the scenes to ensure
> that I never accomplished or made headway in my case. Perhaps the
> worst of all is that by continuing to push forward, I have placed my
> children in danger. I have witnessed one of my children being
> drugged prior to crucial testimony and have had to listen as he
> recounted how he was being threatened and intimidated by the people
> that are supposedly caring for him.

> There have been more than one occasion where I have had to seriously
> consider that if the people that my children are living with are
> willing to drug, intimidate, threaten, and possibly harm in order to
> keep their secrets, am I really being responsible by trying to push
> forward and fight? This is not a question that I am seeking an
> answer for. I just wanted to throw it out there and let you ponder
> on it for the sole purpose of hoping that this is not a valid
> concern in your case. If it is not, I have just possibly provided
> something for you to be grateful for; even if you are sitting in a
> cell right now.

> John, I am truly sorry for the circumstances that have brought us
> both onto this path of hardship and emotional turmoil. At times I
> have allowed these events to break my spirit and almost lead to the
> end of my existence. I am fortunate enough to have been able to pull
> out with my sanity and positive outlook on life intact.

> I am always reminded by your messages that people can truly overcome
> any obstacle and remain upbeat no matter what the circumstances
> are. God bless you and I truly hope one day that you have the
> ability to let go and have faith that the universe, God, or whatever
> you believe in will restore balance, sensibility, and order to this
> screwed up world that we live in. Feel free to spread this message
> if it finds you well. 

I'm sorry to hear of what you and your children went through and you
are quite correct about an uncaring system that sometimes just seeks
to justify it's own existence.  As you have probably found out in
"family court" -- "We've already made up our minds, don't confuse us
with facts!"

It's a bad system, it needs to be changed and we can make that happen.

4. Your FEEDBACK - on reform in general.

--- Myra <>

> it is my personal opinion that parents have to come together as well
> as families to fight people need away to be heard to make a change
> I'm not knocking dc rally but i feel it should have a lot of media
> attention regardless of if they show up or not the fact is they knew
> here where i live no one knows about the rally there's plenty of
> people who would attend etc but no one knows abt it why i know times
> are hard but as parents we have to come together i would like to
> start a rally that could be a all day or two day event our voices be
> heard not depend on the media only but why not u tube it twitter
> ,facebook it,my space it,beebo it,and any where else this is only my
> opinion

---  Bob van Ee <>

> Though you might find good use for all of the attachments...

Got your messages and scanned the attachments.  I can find hundreds of
stories of parents (both Mothers and Fathers) abusing their kids,
etc...  I've never used that type of stuff, not sure it has any 'good

My goal is getting the right of both parents to be presumed FIT &
EQUAL in the lives of their children.  You can read the petition (it's
short) at:

We need to stand up for what we believe in, pointing out the faults of
others doesn't go anywhere but victim-hood.


> the vote. control the swing vote..even 2 percent...we win.

If we were voting on serving chocolate or vanilla for desert I might
agree with you -- but the biases here, similar to segregation, run a
lot deeper than that. If your goal is just a 'rebuttable presumption
of joint custody' -- you might be right, but for a significant
presumption of fitness and equality, we need to change how a lot of
people think.

---  Frank Votra <>

> I signed the petition ["Declaration of Family Rights"], for what
> that is worth as all that has to be done to subvert a man's rights
> is file a domestic charge. However, I am still of the firm belief
> that Civil Disobedience & NonViolent Action needs to be encouraged
> in dramatic and definable acts. I don't care if it is a sit in or
> march but it is a gathering of like minded individuals expressing
> their displeasure that makes the general public take notice.


                                        John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org         A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
(315) 944-0999(x-211)             http://www.AKidsRight.Org/

A Kid's Right to Both Parents!
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