Mother's Day Rally & Events / TPR - the bonding test / Beat the system!

Date view Thread view Subject view Author view

From: John Murtari (
Date: Mon Apr 19 2010 - 13:23:17 EDT

AKidsRight.Org - All the information in our messages if FREE for reuse as you desire.  Subscribe/unsubscribe info at end of this message.
Good People & People of Faith,

This message has info on:

1. Pre-Mother's Day Rally - for Family Rights, May 7th.
2. Ever taken the "bonding test" - fear it!
3. Proven method to beat the system - abandon your kids?
4. Your FEEDBACK - what you'd say at legislative hearings.
5. What is worth arrest? - THE DECLARATION OF FAMILY RIGHTS

1. Pre-Mother's Day Rally - for Family Rights
[ If any groups have any types of events planned for Mother's
Day, please let me know.  It helps if you complete the event
submission form at http://www.AKidsRight.Org/events.htm ]

May 7th, 1100-1500 EST,  Lyons, NY

We'd like to get a collection of Moms & Dads who support the
"Declaration of Family Rights"
(http://www.AKidsRight.Org/familyrights) to do three things:

1) Meet each other, exchange stories, have lunch together.

2) Personally visit NY Assemblyman Oak's local office to share
your stories and demonstrate your concern about Family Rights.

3) Participate in a brief silent picket outside the Courthouse
carrying pictures of your children.

Contact me, John Murtari <jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org>, if you think you
can attend. If we get a good count we will send out Press Releases to
local media to cover the event as a pre-Mother's Day activity! It
would be great to get some reporters and cameras there.

If you know any Superheroes, it would be nice to have one of them
present in costume...

2. Ever taken the "bonding test" - fear it!
[ I was contacted by Anna Marie Jones <>.  She
is from California and wanted to become active in reform after seeing
how easy a TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) was.  Her story was
featured in RISE Magazine's Spring 2010 issue. ]


Those are (were) her two beautiful kids on the cover. Here are a few
excerpts from her story:

... Finally, the worker told me that CPS wanted to terminate my
parental rights.  "Why?" I asked. "I was told the goal was
reunification." My worker would only say, ´Your kids have been in care
too long. Your kids are at an adoptable age. This case has reached the
time limit."

In court, all my attorney did was agree with everything said. He also
told me not to say anything. So we both just sat there. I told him
that I wanted another public defender. He said, "Go ahead, find
yourself one."  But I didn't know how to do that.  During the
termination trial, the workers testified that, since my children had
been in care for two years, they needed a permanent home.  The judge
requested a bonding study to determine whether my children and I had a
bond. It was 20 minutes long and done by someone that my children and
I had never met before.

The lady who did the study took the stand and told the court that my
children and I didn't have a bond. I remember weeping. I couldn't
believe the court would allow such a thing...

As we got toward the end, my visits with my children became very
sad. We only saw each other two hours each month. My daughter started
to seem like a sick, depressed little girl. My son started to seem
like he was forgetting who I was.  At the end of each visit, Erica
would cry and cry. 

I remember that the young girl supervising our visits warned me that
if my daughter kept crying, our visits would stop. I felt awful
telling my daughter that she had to stop crying.  One day my daughter
told me, "Mom! The worker said they're going to adopt us and we're
never going to see you again!" Tears swelled up in my eyes. I told
Erica, "Don't listen to them."

At our last visit, I left my children with a children's Bible, gave
them a big hug, and told them, "I love you. Don't worry. God
will let us see each other again."

Anna Marie did have some drug problems, but did she ever try to harm
her kids intentionally? No. But the officials involved just wanted to
"play it safe..."  You don't get justice, just processing -- and that
should never happen to the Family bond.

If a parent commits a crime, send them to jail, they are separated
from their kids (de facto) -- but when free, they are parents, unless
you are ready to prove they have intentionally tried to cause serious
harm to their children...

3. Proven method to beat the system - abandon your kids?
[ I wanted to share what Ivor had to say.  It's not too much different
that I have heard from many parents, "I just told my kids I'm not their
parent any more due to Court order.  The Court is now in charge; don't blame
me for what happens in your future...." What do you think?]

From:  "Ivor Catt" <>

> I try to get excluded fathers to follow my strategy, which has always been 
> successful when it has been tried - which is only four or five times.
> It really involves giving up trying a.s.a.p. "Trying" supplies funding to a 
> destructive system and validates that system.
> My successful strategy is ignored by excluded fathers. It is at 
> and

I started with the page,

and went through your stuff.  I have some objections with the

       "It validates his acceptance that he has no power whatsoever,
       and therefore no responsibility to his children or to his wife
       or ex-wife. He also has no responsibility for the proper
       functioning of the state, or for any involvement in the
       political process."

That just isn't a real statement and it is not true.  Probably one of
our strongest moral responsibilities is to our children -- and no law
or Judge's order relieves us of that.  It does make consequences more
severe -- but we have a moral duty to uphold our dignity as parents.

I have known parents who seemed to embrace your philosophy. They've
told me, "the Court said that I'm not a parent" -- so I'm just walking
away.  If my kid's approach me when they are older and ask why I lost
contact with them, I'll show them the Court paperwork that says I
wasn't a parent anymore." (or in your cause, I guess they would show
the Retreat Certificate).  It is a pitiable response to indignity.

There is a LOT of pain in being separated from your kids.  The idea of
"retreat" seems to offer a grieving parent a rationalization and
allows them to forget about their kids and quit trying to be an EQUAL
parent to them....

Your "retreat" provides the almost opposite approach from a more
action oriented response.  Take a look at the following article:

"Act with Honesty in Response to Indignity"

Let me know what you think.

4. Your FEEDBACK - what you'd say at legislative hearings.
Last list message we asked:

   "If you were invited to legislative hearings on reform -- what
   would you say in 250 words or less?"

You are welcome to send yours in!


> Ban Quasi-Judicial Administrative Hearings and recognize rights of
> families to equal protection under the law.  Open court TPR
> proceedings to right of trial by jury and private recordings.
> Eliminate increased adoption incentive bonus vouchers.


> Speaking purely as a mother, and thinking of what is in the best
> interest of my children on a daily basis, I personally am appalled
> at the behavior of the courts and our family court systems. I have
> been a single mother at one point, and been around other single
> mothers, and it made me sick to my stomach to listen to and watch
> some of their behaviors as well. 

> At no point has the child ever been what was the core important of
> either parent in a divorce. I literally had a woman ask me if I was
> crazy for not asking for Child Support, that if I didn't get it,
> he'd knock some other woman up and she'd get my money.

> I think that was the turning point for me about the viciousness of
> some people (men are not excluded from bad behaviors by any
> means). I couldn't even begin to think of how to express in 250
> words the need for reform. Starting with Child Support and how it
> add to an already hostile situation! I personally think it puts a
> price tag on my child's head, if he doesn't pay the mother is
> pissed, the child gets dragged into adult issues, and the child
> resents them all in the end for being bent over. 

> If I could have my one little voice heard, I would advocate TIME, I
> watched as I was putting in 90% of the time, and continue to with my
> eldest son. No amount of money could ever replace or compensate what
> I do, and I broke down a typical child support payment of $250 a
> month, which in my home would break down with all I put into my son
> as less than $2 a day with all he has, and would break down even
> further when he start high school soon since all extra curricular
> activities cost us parents out of pocket (in a public school, they
> charge for wood shop, metal shop, art classes, and the whole
> spectrum). I found what costs even more than the all mighty dollar
> is TIME!
> The reason I can never exclude men from having equally bad behavior
> as women is because not all have noble/just reasoning behind their
> actions any more than the gold diggers I've come across.
> Unfortunately I was 16 when I got pregnant, 17 when I had my first
> son (his father was 17 than 18 when he was born)... he just didn't
> happen to be one of the good men like my husband of the past 12
> years. Thankfully I don't have a lot of bitterness and can see
> beyond myself to know what is best for the child involved. However
> if I were to go through a divorce, this time my husband would get
> the children, because he works 2 jobs, has the place they can
> live/support them, and he would obviously be a better choice over me
> a SAHM, with outdated work skills, and no way to
> feed/clothe/shelter/etc. (we talk openly and honestly, he's my best
> friend)... I haven't seen my eldest son's father since I had my
> almost 5 year old with my current husband

5. What is worth arrest? - THE DECLARATION OF FAMILY RIGHTS
You can view/sign the Declaration & Petition at:

                                        John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org          Kid's Right to BOTH parents
(315) 944-0999(x-211)            http://www.AKidsRight.Org/


A Kid's Right to Both Parents!
Newsletter mailing list

Date view Thread view Subject view Author view

This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Mon Jan 17 2011 - 17:46:19 EST