Merry Christmas! Obligation, Duty, & Hope!

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From: John Murtari (
Date: Tue Dec 25 2012 - 20:32:55 EST

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Good People & People of Faith,

As always, our Best Wishes for a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New 
Year! Most especially to those who will not see their children. Of all 
the holidays, Christmas can be a cold & bitter time for parents who are 
alone and find themselves thinking of what was & what might have been. 
Parents who struggled and lost against a 'System' that did not value them.

Parents who made valiant efforts.  Who pleaded and pleaded in Court and 
with the other parent, always hoping for a change, for a happy reunion 
-- only to find those hopes  smashed and broken.

Finally to those who inhabit the coldest & darkest level of Dante's 
Hell.   Who find themselves growing older.  Alone.  Hated by their own 
adult children.  Children who were alienated by a heartless System.  
Children who will have a void in their hearts they will fail to 
understand or to fill.

This message is about Obligation, Duty, & Hope.

*"There, but for the Grace of God, go I" *
For many of us, and most thankfully, myself -- we were able to escape 
the System with our sense of Family intact.  To celebrate Christmas' of 
Joy.  To be embraced by our child and hear the words, "I Love you Mom 
... I love you Dad."

On this Christmas, let's remember it was a close call.  A different 
spouse, lawyer, Judge, or Social Worker and we too could have found 
ourselves frozen & alone.  The System recognizes no "Family Rights" -- 
we were just a little more fortunate when the cylinders were spun, the 
gun pointed, and the trigger pulled....  Let's never forget that.

*What is our Duty?  What should we do now? *
As always, to Love God and Love our Neighbor.  And who could be more 
'neighbor' to us than the parents who were less fortunate.  Many of us 
have remarried, perhaps have more children, and are returning to a 
normal life. The fears, indignities, and injustice the System inflicted 
-- just a fading memory.

If this message does anything, let it remind you of the cold & barren 
life you might have had.  Something that was just a cylinder away.  How 
much is what we have now worth?  How much of that 'worth' are we willing 
to 'spend' to help others?

We certainly have a Duty and an Obligation to act.

*Frozen & Alone *
And those of us who were not so fortunate when the cylinders spun. Are 
we stuck in despair and anger?  Have we gone through the 'magical stages 
of grief' and reached the point of acceptance.  Have we just moved on 
and tried to forget?

I still marvel at professional 'counselors' who tell their parental 
'patients' to just accept losing contact with their children. Children 
who are still alive & well.  Even more marvelous is the System that can 
wear a good parent down to the point of accepting such advice.

But still we are called to act and help others.  A much more difficult 
call to answer....

*How to live with pain? *
By having Faith in the power of our love, and taking action. NOT actions 
of violence, anger, & desperation (or forgetfulness) . I've known 
parents who have taken their own lives or those of others -- what a 
waste and tragedy.  Actions that just affirm what the System did -- 
"See, we told you they were no good as a parent!" Many more descend into 
bitterness, "Get the Judges!  Get the Lawyers!  Make them PAY!"  I don't 
sense they feel their words will ever make a difference, but it releases 
their anger.

At times, I also wanted to put my fist through a wall. The relief?

As I have said many times before, taking NonViolent Action 
( through a personal willingness to 
make voluntary peaceful self-sacrifice for what I believed in.  I didn't 
need to yell at anyone else, or blame anyone else.   I was acting in the 
strongest way possible -- showing that even being jailed would not stop 
me from demonstrating the love I had for my child -- and it felt good!

*National Recognition of Family Rights *
I believe our focus should be on Members of the US Congress, both 
Representatives and Senators. Our arguments are strong 
<>, by a willingness to be 
arrested/jailed outside their offices in peaceful actions, we will be 
able to engage them in real public dialog.

Our actions, when made public through social media and the News, will 
paint quite a different picture of who we are.  Not what the System 
wants at all!

Before we can change minds, we have to change hearts!  As parents we 
take our actions NOT to show that Senator Joe is a bum OR that Judge 
Smith is really bad OR even that the Nations Family Law system is 
destructive.  We take action because we love our children and want to 
see Family Rights recognized and protected.

*Christmas **2012*
I heard two lines in a Homily at a Monastery 
that made me think:

      "Jesus of Nazereth was not born in a golden tabernacle and he did 
not die on a crucifix between two candles on an altar.  He was born in a 
manager and died painfully crucified on a dirty cross between two thieves."

Son of God (a matter of Faith), real human being (a matter of history).  
Not born into royalty or religious priesthood.  Led a simple existence 
for most of his life.  Tradition has his "public ministry" lasted about 
3 years and many at the time would have said it ended very, very, badly.

So many of us are paralyzed because we don't think anything we do will 
matter.  If we just had A LOT OF MONEY, or A LOT OF PUBLICITY, or A LOT 
OF PEOPLE -- then it would be different!  Then we would be willing to 
act.  Then we would know our sacrifice would manner.

He didn't have any of that -- but a simple Faith that told him we must 
Love God & each other.  That the world would be a much happier place if 
we broadened our hearts and realized we were all brothers & sisters.  He 
did not go kicking & screaming to the Cross -- and was able to change 

Once we really believe in our goals -- reform will come easily.

Merry Christmas!


                                        John Murtari

Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (315) 944-0999(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/


A Kid's Right to Both Parents!

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